What is he thinking?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
What is he thinking?
3
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 8:09pm
Hello there! Ok..here is the deal. I just got out of a 3 year relationship and am trying to get back on track with the "dating" life. Me and my friend had gone out about a month ago and her group of friends met us out. There was a guy ,who the next day, i found out took interst in me. So..we decided to go out in a group again a couple weeks later. This guy and me talked the whole night and at the end of the night , he ended up asking me for my number and said we should hang out again. Well now, two weeks later, he still hasn't called. The guy is cousins with a guy that my friend talks to on a daily basis. Apparently, she can't get any info from him as to why he hasn't called. Then the other day i founf out she told one of our mutual friends that she was "bummed" because she hooked me up with this guy and now she thinks he is cute. I do not know if he isn't calling me because he's just not interested, or if he isn't calling because my friend is feeding info to her friend about me like " i don't really want anything right now because i just got out of a relationship" deal. She actually told me that she told her friend to tell this kid that. I feel like she is sabotaging the whole thing. Am i just crazy to think this, or is he just not interested?
Avatar for wildlucky4me
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 8:45pm

I think I'd be finding out how to contact him... even if it's a note in the mail... to say, "hey, I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed talking with you at _______.

Karen ~ wildlucky4me  

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 9:47pm

"She actually told me that she told her friend to tell this kid that. I feel like she is sabotaging the whole thing. Am i just crazy to think this, or is he just not interested?"

So...you're saying you have evidence that your friend has said something to create the impression that you're unavailable. Why don't you confront the friend? It could be that she really is being competitive with you for this guy's attention. It could also be that she thinks she's looking out for you. Why not just ask her if this is true? And then let her know that you are ready to date again and are interested in this guy. See how she reacts.

I agree it's not a bad idea to reach out to the guy directly. You've given him your number so that indicates some mutual interest. Present it as a follow up (do you have his email?) and say you had a nice time talking and look forward to continuing to hang out and get to know each other. That way he doesn't have to rely on distorted second-hand information about you, if that's indeed what's going on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2006
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 12:03am
Hey! In highschool, I had a friend exactly like the one you are decribing. This girl is totally sabotaging your chance with this guy! Take matters into your own hands, if you really like this guy! Call him or "accidentally" run into him sometime & make sure he knows that you are definitely interested & not mourning over your last relationship, which is probably what your "friend" is making this guy think. He wouldn't have got your number if he hadn't been interested. So, she's obivously changed his mind somehow. Good luck!