What is he thinking?
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What is he thinking?
| Mon, 10-04-2004 - 2:05pm |
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 5 months. We have been living together for the past 3 1/2 months at least. We are going to Vegas at the end of October and had talked about getting married while we were there but no plans set in stone or anything. If we did fine, if not fine. but.... For the last week or so something has been a little different. Not bad, just different. So on Saturday, I asked him what was wrong and he didn't want to talk about it because he knew that it was going to hurt my feelings. I asked if he wanted to break up and he said no. I told him that I was just going to leave until he wanted to talk about it. I got all my stuff from the house and left. The whole time I was doing this, he kept asking me why I was taking everything and why I was doing this. I just told him because I did not feel like he wanted me around. He said that was not true but that he needed some time. He still wants to be together but just not stay together all the time. He said he needs to get things straight in his head and he keeps telling me that everything is going to be okay but... I don't know that. I know that we jumped into everything really fast but we are great together. We are very happy and haven't really even had a fight yet. One of the things that he said before I left was that he needed to see if he was going to miss me. What is that all about?? What is he thinking?
What do you think happened????
Please help, I am very confused because I really did not see this coming. We have always been very happy and always had passion for each other up until this. I went over there last night and everything was kind-of weird. We still talk just like we always did but I just go home when I get ready. I just don't know what to think?

Pianoguy thinks your agenda and his don't match.
You want something serious, but your b/f wants to keep things casual. Problem is...you lived together expecting him to do or say something...and HE DIDN'T! So his willingness to "make you an honest woman" (by marriage) won't be part of the plan anytime soon.
Knowing this...do you still want to go to VEGAS with him?
Pianoguy
I just put the marriage thing in there because I was kind-of thinking that could be one of the reasons for slowing down. I am not worried about slowing down. That is fine but it was just very sudden. You are right when you say that we have never been apart. We are together all the time. I am not that upset about it just very confused. It is really hard to make a change like that and not think that something is very wrong. I just love him so much I don't know how I could ever lose him.
Melissa
I'd never live with a guy unless we were engaged. Things just get too messy (upon breakup) to combine your lives on such short dating time and often people stay in a relationship with someone alot longer than they normally would (and not setting you free) because you are living together. Why do you need to live together? Can you two still see each other and enjoy each other/ appreciate in separate living settings? Living separately allows things to be unforced, IMO, and more natural. What's the rush?
He 'needs to see if he will miss you'.... means just that. Often, guys don't figure out what they want unless they do not have you. This is all good IMO. You two need space, and yes, do things/ have a life without the other one is only HEALTHY and IMPORTANT. If a guy expected to have me around and have attention from me 24/7 I'd feel smothered. Ever heard the phrase, "absence makes the heart grow fonder?" Well, for many people, this is how they appreciate you more.
Slow things down, each take time/space
Good luck
(doing my assignment and reading ivillage discussion once in a while gives me so much spirit......sob..sob...)
elvis in silence