What he want from me????

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2004
What he want from me????
2
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 9:38pm
I have just broken up with my bf of one yr two wks plus ago. It may be due to accumulated problems during the relation that causes this breakup. We have arguements very often due to jealousy issue(I'm someone of high jealousy), trust (I don't deny I dun trust someone easily) and lastly lies. Throughout the one yr, I have said 4 white lies which is meant to prevent from arguements but I confessed after sometime as I was guilty. After forgiving me for these number of times, he decided to give up after a yr relation. Reason giving, he finds that the feeling he have for me are not strong enough to maintain the relation. After the breakup I did ask him to re-consider about us. While he was "considering", he still msg me his wherabout and stuff but when I tried calling him or msging him, he just simply give me a cold answer. This attitude drives me mad n hence I can't control my emotions and so kind of pester him for n answer. Finally after a wk he said he wanna remain as friends. After this, I told myself to be strong. After a wk, I didn't contact him at all and manage to put him behind my mind. But.. he msn me on net telling me that he kind of miss me when he is lonely. I was happy. But so coincidentaly my friend's ex said the same thing to her n so I had a discussion with my ex's fren regarding this topic. But.. his fren told him abt the qn n ask n my ex called to tell me off for having such impression of him n telling me that actually he is considering of reconciling but now after this qn, he feels that we would nv be together again. The next day, After a few msgs with him, he told me that he would put me in his consideration list and ask me to forget abt the words he said regarding the qns. I dun deny I do feel that getting back n so the next two days I tried to be friendly by making the initiative to make the first move to contact him. But all I get was cold replies. I finally ask him if he is reli considering abt us, the answer I got was "giving us more time". What is he thking? Previously, he seldom log on to his msn at home, but now.. he actually set it to auto log in. I was really wondering is there a purpose for this change? or am I too sensitive. I did ask him if there is someone else but he keep saying there isn't until this pt of time. I'm tired, everytime when I feel that I'm so much better things would seems to be positive, but the results would break my heart again. I have fallen too deeply for him I guess.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 10:10pm

What he wants is you dangling on a string while he goes about his life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-17-2004 - 10:12pm
I'm sorry that you're going through this situation. I think this is called wanting his cake and eating it, too. He doesn't want to be your boyfriend, he doesn't want you to move on without him, he wants you kind of around so that he can come back when HE wants to. He's playing with you. I predict that he's going to call you one of these nights when he's 'lonely' and ask you out for a drink, etc. and one thing will lead to another, you'll have sex and then he won't call you the next morning.

Don't be a doormat. You can drag this out, but he won't come back to you. Nothing about this split is healthy. No contact, block him and hang out with your buddies and friends and have a good time without him. Let the word get back to him that you aren't sitting at home waiting for his call. And when he does call, tell him it's too late.

This isn't just about what he needs and doesn't need...it's about you, too.