What the heck?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
What the heck?
7
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 5:19pm

I've been swapping emails with this guy for about three months now. I was in a relationship with another guy when we first met, but now I'm recently single. So, now new guy and I have gone on two dates that went really well. We kissed on the second date, and I noticed that he is not a good kisser at all. Saturday I met him out for his sister's birthday celebration (sorta date three, but who's counting anyways)... I am 27, he is 33, and very good looking.

I ended up staying at his house that night. We stayed up until nearly 5:30am talking and having fun together. When we got in the bed, things started to get a little physical, but I made sure things didn't go beyond some very light petting (clothes on, no genital contact) and kissing. Again, the kissing was pretty bad and he seemed to be very nervous. I tried to calm him and said some guiding advice, "I like it when you kiss me softer", which worked well. Eventually, we fell asleep.

The next morning, there was another round of the same, but this time he basically ended up getting so excited that he came. Immediately after that, he rolled over and put his back to me! No amount of light touching got him to respond. When I came back from the bathroom he had even tucked the sheet under his body. I restlessly laid there for maybe another 20 minutes, but I was not going back to sleep. He finally got up with me and drove me to my car. He said he'd figure out if he could clear off his schedule enough to go to the date we had previously scheduled for Tuesday night. I haven't heard from him since.

I'm so confused. I have no idea what this is all about. I sent him an email saying that I had a great time (I thought maybe he was just embarrassed about what happened), but I haven't heard from him. All I can do now is wait him out. Anyone have any insight here???? This is a very strange situation. Plus, how is it that he is 33, very good looking, and completely inexperience in a way that kissing him was worse than the first kiss I ever had when I was 14??? If this helps at all, I saw medication for hypothyroidism in his bathroom (it was on the sink, I didn't look in his cabinets, I promise!!!).

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: faaabulous
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 8:14pm

There seems to be an epidemic of bad kissing out there...what gives? How can he be an inexperienced kisser at 33? However, everyone's definition of bad kisser is different, depending on how you like to be kissed. I like a variety of kissing, depending on the mood and place and the circumstances.

Obviously this guy is majorly embarassed about ejaculating in his pants. There is nothing you can do unless this guy turns himself around. Unless you want to drive to his house and wedge your way into his door and make him understand that you still like him and want to date him.

However, he handled it bad. He could have make a joke about it or had fun with it, but he chose to act and feel shamed and unhappy about it. If I were a guy and that happened to me, I would just take my pants off and keep on kissing. I have experienced guys orgasming quickly and it is usually because they haven't gotten laid in a while. The worst thing they can do is to end the night's fun because of it. But I have not experienced someone ejaculating in his pants.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: faaabulous
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 12:25pm
When I say "bad kisser" I mean he may as well have been motorboating me! Smacking and wiggling his head around???? It made me want to sedate him so that I could get him to just move slower. Bad. But he's SOOO cute! Not fair!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: faaabulous
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 3:32pm
Wiggling head? That is a new one. The smacking seems like he got a little carried away...eek! So cute, but not fair. I agree. I am wondering if he has always kissed this way or did some woman play a trick on him and told him that was the sexiest way to kiss? And now you have to undo it. Because that style of kissing is not the norm.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
In reply to: faaabulous
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 3:36pm

There is no way any woman would do this on purpose. Plus, he's VERY nice, so I doubt he has any crazy exes out there trying to screw him over.

On a positive note, I heard back from him today. He and I are meeting this evening for dinner. YAY... more time to work on correcting that kiss of his. No one can say I've backed down from a challenge!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
In reply to: faaabulous
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 4:04pm
Oh good, he came around. Have fun at dinner. Practicing his kissing may be something that he eventually comes to look forward to *wink*
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
In reply to: faaabulous
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 6:46pm
It's a tough job, but SOMEONE'S gotta do it! Keep working hard !!!! :)
***If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. Lewis Carroll (1832-1898)***
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2007
In reply to: faaabulous
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 4:14pm
Wow, I totally could NOT deal with dating a man who was a horrible kisser, that would blow it for me! Even if he's a Justin McBride look-alike, bad kissing is a deal breaker for me lol. But I'm glad you are taking the challenge and going to tame him, sometimes all a man needs is a little lesson from a woman:) good luck!!!