What the heck does he think he's doing?
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| Mon, 08-09-2004 - 12:50pm |
And there's more: I went in to the health food store with him over the weekend, and in addition to flirting with homely girl right in front of me, he made fun of me in front of two clerks (told them I was high maintenance as we all searched for wheat & dairy free cookies), made fun of me for opening my cookies at the register to break the tension while he flirted with homely. He teases me sometimes, but never like that. I think he did all this because the night before when I was working my night job at a pub, some drunk guy grabbed my boobs in front of my b/f. Of course I told him to back off, but my b/f did nothing b/c he was a ways away and wasn't sure if he grabbed me or the air, just pretending. He told me that he knew it was not my fault, but then the next day he treats me like dog food. This is not the first time I have picked up on passive aggressive paybacks from him when a guy was inappropriate with me at the bar. It's probably the third time in the six months we've been together. How do I talk to him about all this so he will listen and not get defensive, and how to I keep from detonating when he tries to chalk it up to me being jealous (something he likes to say)? Our relationship is otherwise really healthy especially considering he's much younger than I, but he can be really immature at times and I can't stand to let things to preoccupy me for long. Please help!!

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Maybe YOU are the one who needs to understand what an adult relationship is really like. It is not one person parenting/ coaching/ nagging/ bullying/ insulting or persecuting the other. It means honesty, loyalty, committment, trust, communication, responsibility and sharing.
I really hope that you will look at this from that angle and see that this isn't healthy for YOU. When you are with your boyfriend, you should be comfortable and trust that they will treat you well. Sounds to me like you are almost always on edge waiting for him to insult you.
And no matter how much he was upset about the breast grabbing incident that is NO EXCUSE for his behaviour!! NO ONE HAS A RIGHT TO TREAT YOU LIKE THAT- NO ONE!!!
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