What is it with dating sites?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
What is it with dating sites?
2
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 9:40am
I have been on several and am thinking the current one will be my last one because all I meet are the following:
1. Out and out players.
2. Con artists (sob stories wanting money - see my previous post).
3. Men with very attractive profiles seeming intelligent and genuine who assure everyone that they will answer their messages and they NEVER answer.
4. People who start off with a long wonderful chat and the next time with no explanation (other than they are going from one woman to another) block you.
And then (as I've read before here) even if you meet, date and get on with someone on a site, they very often stay on that site and continue to message with other women and even arrange to meet them.
In my opinion, these sites are absolutely useless for any kind of trust or fidelity and although the idea of a personals site is a great one, in fact the idea kind of defeats itself because unlike real life, the guy has access to a whole lot of women at one time and it is too tempting for him.
Incidentally, my sob story man has reappeared and said they won't send him to prison if he pays the last 250 euros of his debt. He has got the sum down obviously to a psychologically manageable one for me to fork out and coupled with the fact he's started to pay me more attention and send romantic sms's probably designed to soften me up. He says that if we meet probably he'll fall in love with me and we will live together!!!
I think not if he's penniless anyway. I was always paying for my ex and getting him out of scrapes.
Anyways, I rang him (and he answered the phone when usually he presses the cancel button if I ever try to ring him which is rude) and said SORRY and you can be sure that'll be the last I hear of him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Mon, 06-11-2007 - 11:24am

Good for you getting rid of the creep. I dont' do the dating sites or dating services. I have never known anyone personally who has had much success going that way. My first husband, however, met a woman via MySpace and things seem to going well with them. I would have never expected him to do that because he meets women where ever he goes...part of his charm, you could say.

You have to wonder sometimes if it is at all feasible to meet someone with whom you can just have an honest to goodness relationship and not encounter any of this b.s.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
Tue, 06-19-2007 - 2:04pm

There are flakes on dating sites and good people on dating sites. Just like in real life. Are you on a quality dating site (say, match, or eharmony)? My current girlfriend (of 1 yr) found me on a dating site. My friends who are getting married found each other on a dating site. You can meet good people. You can also meet bad ones/waste time.

Not that similarity makes for a relationship, but it can improve the odds, and improve the odds of interest on the part of the other person. Are you contacting men who are similar to you...similar education, interests, life stage, economic level, age, fitness level, etc?

>even if you meet, date and get on with someone on a site, they very often stay on that site and continue to message with other women and even arrange to meet them.

Until you reach the point where you feel it's appropriate to have an "exclusivity" discussion, and until you have it, you should assume the other person is not exclusive (unless they say otherwise). If you guys are exclusive, and he's still on there...you don't know what he's doing on there, you're just assuming. You could always say "since we're exclusive, could you take down your profile, it bothers me".

>unlike real life, the guy has access to a whole lot of women at one time and it is too tempting for him.

And, depending upon where you live, the women are inundated by guys, so it's totally random and slim odds if you'll even get through to the woman. In many areas, dating sites are a much better venue for women than they are for men.

>Incidentally, my sob story man has reappeared

Why waste a second on this? Block him. Perhaps even report him as potential scammer.