What is it to you???

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2005
What is it to you???
1
Sun, 12-24-2006 - 6:55pm
alright ladies i need some major advice here. Heres the story: I broke up with my ex b/c he was a jerk. Anyways a couple of days later i saw my best friend of 3 years, i hadent seen him in a while because he started going to college. We were so happy to finally see eachother again. (btw ive been in love with him for 3 years but he doesnt know it yet) I gave him my number and didnt expect a call but suprisingly he did, we talked to 5 hours and decided to go out the next day *as friends*. we went out and had a blast together, we even went to a movie and i layed on his shoulder thinking nothing was gonna happend but as the movie ended he kissed me..then on the way home he kissed me very deeply..i felt somthing id not felt with my ex. i dont know what it was no not sexual id know that but it was differnt. Anyways we sorta decided to have a *friendship with benifits* and we've had that a month now. but see here's the thing girls, he is always sending me mixed signals of wanting a relationship one min. it's as if he wants one then the next we act as if were friends. one of the problems is he's been hurt in the past but so have i. ive heard it takes longer to heal if your a guy but im paying the price for it. i know i could give him so much..but i cant even tell him how i feel..if i even should! im so confused,but i do know one thing for sure is that i love him with all my heart. also we've went out other places as well, and we have intimacy but not sex. now what do you think it means?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 12-25-2006 - 7:17pm

So far you have a FWB arrangement with this man. He has not communicated with you that he wants anything more nor have you communicated with him that you are looking for a committed relationship.

Until someone opens their mouth, don't expect anything to change. When someone tell you they have been "hurt in the past" that is code for "I am going to be flakey, there will be no logic for my words and actions, and you will be expected to put up with it."

So put the feelings and the intimacy aside and go have a very honest conversation with this man about what it is you want. He either will agree or disagree but you will know where you stand.