what makes a guy want a bootycall vs.rel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
what makes a guy want a bootycall vs.rel
6
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 3:11am
Hi, I'm a nurse, and around two years ago I started talking personally to one of the doctors that I worked with who I had a crush on. Before that, I knew he may have liked me or thought i was attractive because of the way he looked at me at work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 8:57am

There is a key difference in how men and women approach love and commitment:


Women fall in love and

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 1:44pm

There is nothing wrong with either person, but if there's no connection there just isn't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 7:12pm
I dont think that it is all about whether you were judged as a bootycall versus relationship...I think that you answered your own question with your statement about how different the two of you are and that the visit wasnt very good - he probably felt the same way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2004
Tue, 10-30-2007 - 10:40pm
Thanks, the reason I didnt engage him was because I thought already that he didnt like me, and didnt want to look like an idiot since he was coming to visit from across the country for one weekend...so I thought there was no way we would develop a relationship since i live in new york and he lives in Reno, Nevada....but now I want to know the true feelings, I guess I regret not finding out, but I just assumed I was being used for a bootycall...but maybe your right, he put the signs out and I didnt pick up on them.......thanks for your insight appreciate it....
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 9:22am

<>


This is called 'playing it safe'. Not stating your own feelings because you don't think they are reciprocated is being safe. Not taking a chance and stating what you want when you aren't sure you will get it is playing it safe. When you are in an open and receptive place, you are not afraid of looking silly, not getting or otherwise losing something or someone. And when you operate from a place of fear rather than love, yes, you do often have regrets.


Rather than regret what you didn't do - learn from this. KNOW clearly what you want your life to look like. What kind of relationship you want and what kind of partner you want to share it all with. When you KNOW these things clearly, you are less willing to walk away from opportunities to have them and you are also less willign to compromise and get/be/remain in a situation that doesn't fit.


Doing these things will open you up to be receptive to others and to more clearly see what is and isn't possible.

Toni

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Wed, 10-31-2007 - 4:35pm

I'm sure there may be feelings of regret of not finding out more...but...if he was someone who you really wanted to have a relationship with you wouldnt have let that opportunity pass you by. There will be another man who will cross your path one day who will be a better fit for you.