WHAT IS MY NEXT STEP?
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WHAT IS MY NEXT STEP?
| Tue, 11-07-2006 - 6:21pm |
As I posted at previous poster I did ask for a exclusivity and the answer was he's not ready for it. He said, he is been previously with two relationship that he's commited early on and failed so as a reason he wants to slowed down. But he likes me very much and want to see me more.
But for me it is hard been intimate with somebody and not comitted. And I do not want to let him go because he treat me as real and precious gem. We have very strong chemistry together. We bonded the first date.
And he said he will think about it can I give him some time?
I need advice whether I give him some time or cut it off?
Thank you.
Rube.

Uh, if he wanted to "go slow", then why did he have sex with you so soon? That's not going slow!!! You're risking your heart (not to mention your body) by having sex with him, but he can't even stop dating other women?
It's a BS excuse, IMO.
If you continue to see him, then you need to stop sleeping with him until he's willing to date you exclusively. But putting the genie back in the bottle is hard. This is why it's SO important to have this conversation before you sleep together. It can be done, but it's going to take a LOT of willpower on your behalf and he may resent you for it (and you may grow to resent him for wanting to keep his options open).
Sheri
Thank you Sheri for the advice.
Well I know now having sex with him it wasn't good idea. But he is such a great guy caring, calling everyday asking me how was my day, taking me for lunch after my day ..etc. And he was talking to me about going to trips what kind of home I like and he told me he likes to have a child if I am willing to give him someday...etc. That made me he is into me somehow. I do not know what is he thinking right now or what he was thinking. That is why I am going to stick around for a while as a friend (no sex)and see what happens.
Any advice is great.
RUBE
Thank you Chamey101 for your advice.
I met this guy online I don't have time going out and meet new people. I am not sure even if I want to go online again. It is to much hurt and I do not want to be alone either.
But I take your advice because I do not want get hurt again waiting for him to tell something even himself doesn't know what he wants. I leave my options open but I will be still friends with him.
Any advice will be appriciated.
RUBE
Actually all that "future talk" this early on is a big red flag. I mean, really--he barely *knows* you, what business does he have talking about having a child with you???? Does that really add up to you?
If someone starts talking that way when you've only known each other for a short time, it's a sign to be *extra* skeptical IMO.
But as I said, what's done is done. You live and you learn, right ;-)? Slow things down, take sex out of the equation (tell him you are doing so and why, of course) and see what happens.
Sheri