What is the right amount of time?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2004
What is the right amount of time?
2
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 7:43pm
I have been seeing someone for about 4 months. He is someone who loves to hang out with his friend's A LOT. That is understandable because before I came into his life he had not dated much or been in a relationship for 3 or 4 years, so he had plenty of free time. I just got out of a 3 year relationship at the beginning of this year. The person I am with now is my first relationship since then. But during my first relationship we were together all the time 24/7, which I think is what tore us apart. Now the guy I am with is not the type of person who wants to be with his girl all the time, and I don't want to be with him all of the time either, but I love seeing him. And when he says he's hanging out with his friend's I get jealous, I know they were there before I was, but I don't tell him that, and I don't want to feel this way, because then he really won't want to spend time with me. But please tell me what you think is the appropriate amount of time to spend together a week without smothering the other person. I am not used to this whole NEW relationship thing, it's been so long. And I really want this to work. I am just not good at this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 8:28pm
hm, in my opinion...twice a week. two nights...maybe you guys can set a plan...like the two of you hang out on tuesday nights and friday or saturday nights ....and if both of you have the time, maybe the two of you can meet for lunch one day during the week... and then the rest of the time, either email or call about three times a week...you don't need to be in CONSTANT contact...then you guys won't have anything to talk about cause there won't be time inbetween the times you talk for anything interesting to have happened.

Hope I helped,

Rosie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 8:51pm
well...i have been seeing a guy for about 3 months now. We have seen each other about once a week, as we are both very busy with our lives. I would like to see him more but he is overloading his class schedule to graduate in may. I think it really depends on the couple. We talk on the phone almost every night which is nice, though i do miss physical contact with him. We are also taking it slow and I agree...smothering will break a relationship. I have realized that it is better to give a little bit of room and take things slow (unless, of course you are in some sort of need to rush things) I am 22 my man is 25, so I am even in less of a rush to get "serious". I dont know if that helps, but I'd say, dont rush it, it will only ruin things if anything