What should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2007
What should I do?
16
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 3:12pm
Okay I like a co-worker, we hung out once and exchanged a lot of e-mail which suddenly stopped. I'd heard say before that she didn't want a boyfriend but at the time she was talking about someone else so I paid it no mind. But after she stopped e-mailing me. I sent her one last e-mail explaining my feeling for her and letting her know that if she did not feel the same I still wanted to be friends. and she replied as follows. Should I just move on or is there still a chance.


Edited 8/13/2007 3:43 pm ET by acheyheart

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 6:57pm
A romance should start out as a friendship, then get more romantic. You might be wanting to go too fast. Take it easy. That way you can build up a great friendship and relationship. It could either turn into a more serious situation if you are willing to go slowly and get to know each other. good luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 6:57pm

I thought I'd pitch in my two cents in regards to your two questions; tips on how to tell how a girl likes you and why you fall into the "friend" category.

I think the problem lies in your radar. Perhaps you are confusing women who are genuinely interested in you with women who like you as a person, wouldn't mind your attention and enjoy the ego boost, but wouldnt date you. A friendly smile and a wink doesnt mean she is genuine in her feelings about you.

If you have encountered women who have liked you and wanted to date you...compare their demeanor and approach and behavior with this coworker and other women who put you in the friend category. You'll see that there is a difference. A woman who would like to date you is interested in YOU. She would want to know things about you, your likes, or dislikes, and asks you questions about yourself. Maybe she gets a little nervous around you, but that is not always the case. She doesn't call you at the last minute to go out or cry on your shoulder about a guy, and doesn't use you to make another guy jealous.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2007
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 9:00pm
Okay ladies and gents thanks for all the advice, any on how I should go about asking a girl out? Not the same one, I don't wanna be a stalker.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Mon, 08-13-2007 - 10:04pm

The one you dont want to ask out is the one who you emailed your feelings to right? And she didnt respond? Yeah, I wouldn't ask her out.

Men haved asked women out in all sorts of ways but the honest and direct approach is always best, like, "I was wondering if you would like to go out some time on a date." It's a low key approach, but very direct and there is no confusing that with "friends".

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2007
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 1:52am
Okay guys now that I know she doesn't like me, my feeling for her are not as strong honestly almost non-existant. I've noticed this alot if I think a girl likes me even if I don't like them right off if they keep flirting with I end up liking them. And when it becomes apparent that they aren't really interested in me then I no longer feel anything for them. Did I ever really feel anything or did I just settle?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 08-14-2007 - 10:58am
Well, your feelings are more of a "I think I could be interested in this person" than "I love her". You have determined that she doesn't like you, then, of course your natural inclination is to turn off your interest and look elsewhere. So, yes, she stimulated your interest, but you didn't have real emotional feelings for her, otherwise you would still have feelings even if you felt she didnt like you. It wouldn't be so easy to turn off your heart if you really cared. But Idont think you settled...that is a different set of emotions.

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