What should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2006
What should I do?
4
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 9:03pm

Hey.. I'm 16 years old.. Yes just 16. I may sound young to be on here but i figured i wasn't going to tlak to my mom about this because we are not the best of friends when it comes to dating. Being that her and my dad have just recently been separated and its somewhat of a hard topic for her. So i came to you because i think that you can help me.

So i have this "friend" which is also a possible "soon future" boyfriend. Before we even met we talked for at least 5 months. When we finally did meet we were with 2 of our mutual friends who happen to be dating. And of course me and this boy already had acquired feelings for eachother. I somewhat messed up the night though. Not realizing my mistake at the time i kind of was shallow. Danny wasn't blessed with the, how should i put it.. Hot, genes. And it took me by quite suprise. We then went to our schools basketball game.. which probably wasn't the best place to go for our first time haning out because there wasn't really any one-on-one time. When it came to the end of the night i already knew i wasn't going to kiss him 1) because i didn't have that physical attraction to him. and 2) because i don't kiss people that i just meet. Wether we have been talking for awhile or not.
I think he was taken back by the -just hug- and was a bit dissappointed. It doesn't help that when he went back to my friend abbys house to pick up his friend to go back to the town he lives in, they asked him in a very wanting to know voice if he'd gotten a kiss. And with a let down tone he just said no. I found this out last night. 2 months after the occasion. We live about an hour away and i just got my license so it has been hard to see eachother.
He started dating a girl named Allison just recently. Just a fling. and they eneded that about 4 days later.
I realize it now that i am so attracted to Danny's personality that i just can NOT get him out of my mind. We get along so well and its something you just dont find everyday. I have gotten over the fact that i realize how shallow i was before. And i come to think of it. If i had kissed him that night we would probably be dating right now. And it KILLS me that i didnt. We talk pretty much everysingle day wether its over the computer or on the phone. I have been to his past two baseball games but i never get the chance to tell him how i really feel. Which i realize that i needed to do when we got in an argument the other night. We were arguing about his real girlfriend when it went into deep conversation about "us" and he said.. Do you realize this is the FIRST time you have told me how you felt? and i replied with. No danny.. It isnt. I've tried. We are all good now and we still have feelings for eachother and i don't know what to do. You don't realize how well we get along and how much i just cant get him off of my mind. I just odnt know if it will work because of the distance.. What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2004
Wed, 05-10-2006 - 10:38pm

I think long distance relationships are very hard and don't normally work out, but not impossible and sometimes they do. If you have lots to keep you busy, school, activities, and hobbies it will help with the loneliness. I think if you can keep the talking going and continue to tell each other what you are feeling, that will make a big difference in trust and understanding. Finally, I think you are using your brain and thinking things through (more than most teens I know at your age), so follow your own instincts and heart. If things don't work out, they don't work out. Never the end of the world, there will be more. Good luck in whatever you choose.

Cheryl

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2004
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 12:30pm

A successful relationship requires that you be not only attracted to the person's personality, but also to the person's physical appearance.

You're not shallow for not being attracted to Danny. And you shouldn't try to force yourself to be attracted to someone you're not. There's nothing wrong with you or him that it doesn't click physically. It just means you're not meant to be more than friends.

And you've learned something very important with Danny! You've learned that you like his personality, and that you would like to be with someone who has a personality like his. You should think about what it is exactly about Danny's personality that you like, and try to find someone who has those same qualities, but to whom you're also physically attracted.

Once you find the whole package, you will be glad you didn't settle for anything less!

Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 2:21pm

<<>>

What do you mean his "real" girlfriend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2006
Thu, 05-11-2006 - 5:16pm
I meant old***