What should I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2003
What should I do?
3
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 9:31pm
I went on a few dates with someone, we also have talked many many times on the phone, and have e-mailed each other back and forth. He is a very caring and kind man, personality wise he is about any womans dream guy, including mine. Now physically there is nothing and I mean nothing at all. Weight is usually not an issue to me but he is very overweight, to the point that it gets in the way of daily living. I know that this will go no where. How do I tell him this? He I feel thinks this is much, much more then what I feel it is. I know he has talked about future, children, etc. He is head over heels for me, I believe. Please, please help. I really do not want to hurt him because he really is a kind person and I know he will be hurt no matter how I tell him but I want to try to hurt him as less as possible.

Thanks so much!!!

DEE

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 9:48pm
You say that "this will not go anywhere"...what is "this", the relationship with him? If you feel you don't want to date this man tell him you're not interested in him in a romantic way. I'm sure he knows about the unhealthy aspect of being overweight to the point of affecting his daily living, but it's not your job to tell him that.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-26-2004 - 9:49pm
Since you've only gone on a few dates with him, I would send him an email letting him know that you enjoy his company but you don't feel there is enough of a spark between you for a romantic relationship. If you would feel comfortable being friends, then let him know that, but just realize that he may not be comfortable with that.

The sooner you do this, the better. Freeing him to find someone who is attracted to him is the kindest thing you can do for him.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Tue, 07-27-2004 - 3:41pm
You do need to end the dating if you are not romantically interested so that he can find someone who is. If you are wanting to be friends with him, then tell him so and continue to hang out with him and talk with him.

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