What should I do
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What should I do
| Sun, 06-20-2004 - 11:30pm |
I was with my children's father for 4 years. I am 21. I met him when he was 20, I was 16. About a year ago, I ended up walking out because I thought my life was bad and I thought there were bigger and better things out there. I eventually found out that I thought I was wrong, I missed my normal family life with the same routine every day andhaving the man I truly love waking up next to me every morning. Yes, him and I had had some bad times, but also had many good memorable times as well. We have 2 beautiful children, 2 and 4. Well, in the last 4 months, He and I started talking a lot again and being better friends than we ever have been able to be. I eventually realized that I still love him so much. I told him finally and he also said how much he loved me and the kids and missed us all. We both agreed we miss our "family" in general. This man was the love of my life for a long long time. We went through a lot together and I miss him so much, and so do my kids. I am very confused right now because part of me is saying that I should follow my heart, knowing I love him. Knowing the right thing is to be with him for love and for our children. The other part of me is questioning the thought, wondering if the relationship will be the same it was before? How many years is it going to take this time? I want it to work out so bad bacause of our children, but will it ever be again? Will we be happy this time, and for good? Should I go back and try to make my family work or let it go and let things be the way they are?

It's difficult for me to figure out what exactly is going on from your post, but certainly I get the feeling that you're missing him deeply and missing being a family with him. That's normal. But how to distinguish missing him from wanting to be with him, that is the big question. You have a very valid point, will the relationship be the same or not? Unless you've gone into therapy and done some really deep thinking, gotten some relationship tools and he has, too, you will slip back to the way things were. Good intentions aren't the same thing as growing and changing...you bring out both the best and worst in each other, you know his buttons and vice versa. The worst thing is that you're both so young, still haven't had a chance to get out there. I fear that you're clinging to the past in fear, but not because it's the best thing for you and your family.
Go to individual therapy and figure things out for yourself.
xxxDragonsbabybluexxx
Don't move back in right away, do therapy first, date each other again, do things together as a family. Move cautiously and slowly before you make a final decision. Best of luck to you.