What should I do? Stuck

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2005
What should I do? Stuck
2
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 10:48pm

What would you do if, after 7 months, you find you are pretty compatible with the person you are dating, but---not sure--- if he is The One. Not sure if you love him as love should be.

Would you continue dating him? Or say bye-bye.

We have a fine relationship. I don't have any complaints about him personally. He is more into me, than I am into him. We make a good team, but don't you think FEELINGS of LOVE are important? We are compatible, but I NEVER went through those feelings of love and attraction with him, like the way it has happened in the past. So I feel something is missing. That PULL toward him is missing.

Am I being idealistic? Or can relationships still be happy without that feeling of LOVE.

Should I wait for those feelings of love, or give up and leave?

How much more time should I give us? I am going bonkers analyzing whether I am wasting time or utilizing time with him. But because we are so compatible, and we make a good team together, and he tries to understand me and seems to be a good BF, I am unable to say "Let's break up". He seems quite content with the way I am.

:-( What should I DO?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 11:53pm

If you feel like something is missing, chances are you're right. You should end it, since it's not fair to him if you're just not into it. You should never "settle" because it's easier and you don't want to hurt his feelings. He will be grateful that you let him go so he can pursue someone who will reciprocate his feelings.

Alison

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2005
Sun, 09-25-2005 - 3:58pm

I am not "settling" because it's easier and because I don't want to hurt his feelings. Once I am sure of what I want, I am pretty straightforward and upfront and I have the courage to break it off in an instant. I feel like I am staying with him, because we make a good team together and are compatible in many areas, and I have never felt this with another man. So I am afraid of taking a wrong step, and then regretting it.

So in that case, what should I do? How much more time should I give us, for me to realize that "This is IT" or to realize "This is not it". I am stuck right in the middle, unable to make a decision.

Can love ever develop with time?
7 months, and I still cannot say confidantly I love him, and mean it.
Has anyone experienced this in dating? Can love be a late bloomer sometimes?