What went wrong????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2006
What went wrong????
2
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 12:42pm
I have been seeing this guy for almost a month, we work together he is my manager. The first day I started the job we hit it off. About two weeks later he e-mailed me his number.. I was so excited so we made plans to go out with a group of people. And so we did and we had a great time, we went out again a few days later with the same group of people. And three days later we went to dinner and then back to his hoouse to watch a movie. It was so nice I even met his parents. So this past friday we went out again with the same group of people, although this time he was acting differnt if I wouldnt say he ignored me but he definatly didnt pay a whole lot of attention to me. I pulled him aside and asked if something was wrong and he said "no", we danced and had a lot of fun. I was getting ready to leave and went outside to say good-bye to him and he was gone.. he left and never said anything to me. So saturday we had to work together and if I didnt approach him he would have never said anything to me. So I called him when I got out of work and e-mailed him and he never responded to either... What could have gone wrong days earlier he said that we were taking it slow so we could get to know each other and grow into something special and now all of a sudden I hear nothing from him.. The only thing that I can think is.. we have a mutual friend at work and he asked about how our relationship was going and Matt the guy I have been seeing said that he didnt know what was going on.. he is confused as to where it is going he told him... I am about ready to quit my job because of all of this and I really think that I deserve an explanation as to what is going on... What did I do wrong??? Is this normal??? What should I do????
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 2:03pm

pinkpixie18...

Pianoguy thinks that working in the same office (or for the same company) and maintaining a personal relationship ISN'T an arrangement that EVERYBODY is CAPABLE OF "PULLING OFF!"

I'm willing to bet that your manager came to the realization (either by himself or through a little teasing by one or two co-workers) that YOU would eventually get 'preferential treatment' on the job? Whether this is true or not...only YOU and HE know?

So while the possibility remains that he still has "feelings" for you.....trying to remain professional without any sort of favoritism is a 'juggling act' for him? Your manager probably doesn't feel 100% comfortable BEING YOUR BOSS AS WELL AS YOUR BOYFRIEND...which means he had to make a choice between his professional behavior and his personal tastes.

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Sun, 07-16-2006 - 5:32pm

He probably was moderately interested, but not sure of his feelings, so he went out with a few times to see how it would go. After a few times of hanging out, his interest in you wasn't enough to continue seeing you. It doesn't have to be anything that you did wrong. It could just be that he didn't feel enough of a connection. It's possible that because he's your boss, he's also nervous that he'll get at trouble at work for dating you, or that it will cause problems at work down the line if you get into a relationship and then break up.

Are you sure you want to quit your job over this? If you come in and just do your work and act cordially to him, this thing will probably be forgotten and blow over eventually.