what is wrong here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
what is wrong here?
3
Sat, 11-12-2005 - 3:12pm
Hi, I ended a long term relationship about a year ago and throughout this year I've dated guys that didn't turn into anything. These guys that i've dated turned out to want only one thing. I've always said I just want to meet a nice guy. So i've gone out with this guy 2 times in the last week and he is a sweetheart. So nice, funny etc. the only thing is, is that I can't seem to feel the physical attraction. I know he wanted to kiss me last night but I was just not feeling it. I haven't always dated "hot" guys so i'm wondering why I just can't feel it with this guy. I know we've only gone out 2 times but he already asked me out for Wednesday and I want to go. That's the problem, I have fun with him.
any suggestions?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Sat, 11-12-2005 - 3:59pm
It doesn't sound like there's anything wrong here. Feelings take time to grow. Maybe you are feeling reticent because of your last break-up. If you risk your feelings again, you could get hurt. My advice would be to take it slow. Only do what feels comfortable for you. There's no need to force intimacy and you have no way of knowing if this guy is worth the risk or not, after just two dates. I think you deserve to give yourself time. You're not doing anything wrong.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-12-2005 - 7:38pm

I don't think there is anything "wrong", you're just not attracted to him. I would go out with him a couple more times to see if attraction grows, but if not, then it sounds like you would be better off as friends (I've ended up with some of my closest male friends this way). You're not going to be attracted to every single nice guy, that's just the way it is!

I would only be concerned that someone was "wrong" if you have NEVER been attracted to a nice man, then that's a reason to get into counseling.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2005
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 6:38pm

Sometimes, I know with me I just know right from the start if I like the guy. If your not feeling it's either because your still hung up on the other guy, or your just not into this guy. Don't waste alot of time with it though.

Good luck