What's the chances?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2006
What's the chances?
2
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 7:06pm
Let me start by saying that I have always dated petite women who were in great shape.
I was married for ten years and lost my DW to cancer just two years ago.
The pain I felt, and continue to feel, was very great and since we had no children,
the loneliness I fell is debilitating, to say the least.
Recently, I encountered a woman that I had known while attending the same
high school, some twenty years ago. She was formerly married to a man
that I had been a teammate of on several sports teams for around five years.
This lady seemed interested in me, and I felt the same about her, after having
several dinner dates over the last three weeks.
Although she is very attractive, she doesn't fit the "mold" I have felt
was necessary as a love interest. She is considerably larger in both height, and weight
than my previous love interests, although her weight is proportionate to her height.
One thing that concerns me is that I have knowledge of the fact that
her former husband was very well endowed, having seen him naked when
taking showers after games.
I have always enjoyed a wonderful physical relationship with all of my previous lovers,
and am concerned that her larger size, required to accomodate such a large man,
might not provide a good fit for my less than average sized member.
She seems to be a wonderful and caring person, but I don't know if I could
endure a less than fullfilling sexual relationship on a permanat basis.
Any thoughts will surely be appreciated, by me.
Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2007
Wed, 06-20-2007 - 8:07pm

I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. Your pain is conveyed through what you wrote. It's natural to seek out companionship and it's good that you've taken steps to do so.

About the woman's "size"...from what you've written, I'm confused. You say her height relates to her weight or she is proportioned...is she overweight? Obese? Or just in the upper range of the weight range for her height and you are used to, let's say, dating more celebrity-esque size women?

I guess ultimately...are you physically attracted to her? That's first.

Second about your "issue". I must say that, as far as my own personal experience, two of my ex-boyfriends were "well-endowed". At no point though if I was with a man that I cared about did I say to myself...oh wow...he's so much smaller compared to x. I think it's what you do with it and not how large you are.

~Kelly~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Thu, 06-21-2007 - 11:58am

Sorry to hear about your loss. I'm sure it is hard getting out and dating when you feel you lost someone who best matched your tastes. Somehow you are operating on an ignorance about size of body and size of sexual organ. Just because she is taller or bigger doesn't mean her vaginal canal is huge.

If you feel that, overall, your tastes have shifted or expanded to include other body types you would find attractive then that's great. But it seems that you still prefer the previous body type. Maybe you are just lonely and need some love and affection and this woman happens to show an interest in you...but something holds you back...so your thoughts turn to your old high school chum's penis size and her size and weight. If you know what turns you on, then don't fight it.

Some women could care less about penis size. I can understand your concern that maybe you would be compared to him in her mind, knowing her ex's size. I heard that the average penis size is 5 1/2" to 6". Not sure where you fall in the mix, but if you have penis size on your mind it could hinder your performance in bed with her even if you found her attractive.