Whats the deal with this guy?!? Help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2006
Whats the deal with this guy?!? Help!
7
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 1:22pm

I broke up with my ex almost 3 months ago. We were breaking up for 6 months before it actually happened. About 3 weeks ago, my friends ( a married couple ), introduced me to a guy friend of theirs. I had heard about him from my ex from time to time and I was pretty interested. We stayed the last 3 weekends at our mutual friends house and slept in the same bed for the last 2 weekends. I have 3 kids, and I didn't know where I wanted it ot go or where he did for that matter. He's a really sweet quiet guy, not my type, but I really like him and everyone I know cant say anything bad about him. He's a cattle rancher so he works from day in to day out. He lives an hour and half away but he's been coming over every weekend since he met me. He even mentioned moving back over here and maiking the commute everyday. We finally slept together 2 nights ago. Usually I text him every morning and he calls before bed every night and on occasion has called in the middle of the night to see what I was doing, sleeping of course. Well I texted hmi yesterday morning and called him at lunch. He calls in the evenings and last night he didn't. I didn't call him because I dont want to push him. Itexted this morning and he hasn't called back. We are getting ready to have a tropical storm, maybe a hurricane and he could possibly be doing double time on the ranch, but I dunno. I really like this guy and he's 6 years older and he knows I have 3 kids. The weekend I met him, i had them, and the next wekeend trhey were with their father and then this past weekend, the paternal grandmother wanted them but I had my one year old with me. Is he scared of my kids. He doesn't have any and he knows my ex and doesn't say anyting about him he's quiet, but I know he doesn't care for him, he's a dead beat. Did he just get close to get to my ex? Is he scared to get involved with someone who has 3 kids, the oldest being almost 5 and the youngest just turning 1. I'm confused. He has never once not called me before bed except after we slept together. What do yall think of the situation? I'm only 21 and he's 28, we were gonna go out next weekend for my birthday, fathers day, I wouldn't have my kids all weekend and we had been looking forward to it. Should i make new plans, or give the guy a little longer to call? Help?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 6:59pm

flcntrygirl11400...

PG isn't going to bother referencing the 3 children. They're probably adorable even though you kinda "rushed things" prior to your 21st birthday?

My best guess is that the 28-year old man....while he might love YOU like crazy....has no desire to 'acquire an INSTANT FAMILY!' Unless this gentleman is an absolute saint who had no apprehensions about loving ALL YOUR CHILDREN unconditionally...I think you're expecting A LOT!

You've grown accustomed to having children between the ages of 1 and 5 in your life, but I'll bet your 28-year old b/f isn't quite comfortable with the arrangement? Particularly if he's never had a wife or any children of his own...before he met you?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 1:55pm
You definately rushed things in the sex department. A lot of guys stop calling after they spend a night in bed. Next time you date make him wait.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2006
Thu, 06-15-2006 - 4:16pm
He finally did call this morning around 9:30. Said he had been busy working and was taking a break for a sec and was thinking about me so he finally called. He said he tried to call the other night after i called but he only got 4 rings and he didn't have time to wait, I said i guess my caller id is broken because I didn't get any calls. he laughed and said well he didn't have his phone anyways and i had a number call tha i didn't know, so i asked if it was him and he said no, and i said they only said wrong number, sorry and he said yeah i got the same call, whats the number and i told him and he said yeah thats it. so now we gotta figure who this other number is and how they would have both of our cell numbers, seeing how i just got my phone 5 weeks ago and only family and a select few people have my number. thanks for the advice and we had met 3 weeks prior, is that really that short of a period of time. i haven't been dating for awhile so what are the rules?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 12:49pm
Sorry, but his explaination seems a little fishy to me. It is too coincidental to be true. Don't bother trying to find out who could possibly have both your cell numbers.If you still want to give this guy a chance, don't call him. Let him call you. That will be a barometer as to whether he is interested or not.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2006
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 7:06pm

If you just broke up with your ex 3 months ago and your ex knows your present boyfriend, I'd say you are getting way too involved too soon and with a guy your ex knows.

Honey what's the hurry? You are only 21 and have a lot of time to look around for another mate.

First get over your ex before you become involved with another man.

It isn't a good idea to allow your children to get introduced to a man whom hasn't committed to you. If your kids get attached to him, it will be like losing another father figure if it doesn't work out for you. You aren't the only one who will suffer, they will.

Go slow, you will found another in time. good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Fri, 06-16-2006 - 9:11pm

<< He said he tried to call the other night after i called but he only got 4 rings and he didn't have time to wait, I said i guess my caller id is broken because I didn't get any calls.>>

Hon, your caller ID isn't broken and you know that. He's feeding you a load of bull. Sorry, but that is one of the sorriest excuses ever ... he didn't have time to wait and leave you a voice mail? What would have happened if you had answered? He wouldn't have had time to talk?! Sorry, but you know as well as we do that he didn't call.

If you want to continue dating this guy, I wish you luck! He doesn't sound like he's worth your time ... certainly doesn't sound very considerate ... and he's a B.S'er at that.

My vote is ... there are other fish in the sea.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 1:51pm
You know what, I didn't think about that at all. If he didn't have time to wait for voicemail how was he gonna have time to talk. Thanks for that. We did go out over the weekend, and spend the weekend together, but once again, he hasn't called. I told my friend, pretty much, he's my weekend fun, and he doesnt know who I talk to over here and I dont know who he talks to over where he lives, but I'll enjoy my weekends as it stands right now, when my kids are with their father's family. I do like this guy and he tells everyone he likes me, but I'm not ready for another relationship. My kids do not know him, they've met him once and that was before we started talking, the same weekend I met him. My kids didn't evenm see their father on fathers day, and yesterday was my youngest daughters third brithday and he didn't call her and guys are on my sh*# list right now anyways. This new guy gets me away from all that for a 2 day period and it helps me and I dont want myt kids to see him with mommy in any way. I love my kids too much and all the insight I have gotten out of this board has helped in my decision a great deal. thanks.