what's going on here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2003
what's going on here?
3
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 8:04am
I am currently rehearsing for a musical which opens next month. One of the members of the cast is a really lovely guy and we have been chatting a bit of late.

I am generally a friendly person and often spend time talking with people and love hearing about their lives. This particular guy (is the lead role in the play) is a quiet guy and doesn't spend a lot of time talking to people in the cast. I didn't think anything of it until Friday when I received an email from him telling me he had a dream about me the night before. I was really taken aback, but I replied back. Then he sent me a pic of him and I performing in a scene from the play together. It's a stunning pic and I do treasure it.

Naturally now I’m thinking this guy is keen and wants to step the “relationship” up a bit. However, although he is friendly he isn’t exactly banging my door down to spend every single moment of rehearsal with me. I’m somewhat confused. I am sure that he likes me, what I’m unsure of is how much. Do I take a step back and just wait for him to step it up again or should I be more proactive? I don’t want to smother him but I don’t want him to think I’m disinterested. I saw him on Sunday and last night and will see him again tomorrow night. Please help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 9:31am
faraway girl...

Pianoguy was hoping there would be a profile on you, but unfortunately...there wasn't! But he definitely experienced 'a flashback'today! There were a lot of remembrances about 'showbiz associations' from my past....and we're talking everything from 5th grade to the present!

As an actor in a play or musical, there are usually one or two people who 'catch your eye' or that you instantly BOND with. In your case...the 'male lead' has become a "rising star" in your personal life! Since you didn't indicate how long rehearsals will go before your performance date, how about trying this idea out?

If you haven't thanked him for downloading the pic of you yet (or even if you have)...why not come up with some "creative gesture" of your own for him? Do you suppose you have enough computer skills to blend his 'on-stage picture' with a phrase like: "The Tom Cruise of the Future" and write up a paragraph with brief bio about him. If you can work up a visual presentation and download it...the ball will be in his court.

This might be "the clue" that he needs to realize that your feelings for each other aren't limited to your performances on stage? GOOD LUCK!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2003
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 10:02am
Hey pianoguy...

thanks for your advice. I'm not sure if I have the guts to put your words to practice though.....

The other "situation" is that he is born a muslim but no longer practices the religion. This also means that he is not white. I know that this is not an issue for most of the world, but I live in a country that separated whites from people of colour for many, many years and we have only lived in a democratic society for 10 years. So, although there is no law banning us from being with each other, society here still lends itself to "birds of a feather flock together". I know my parents would take a while to get used to this idea. So, although this doesn't hinder my feelings for him, I'm nervous to take a chance of causing upheavel in my family unless I am sure that this is going somewhere solid.

I wonder if he has been faced with this situation before and walked away before it got difficult....

I lent him a video tape of myself yesterday as I was on national television on Saturday, and he asked to borrow the tape so he could see it. I guess he will return it tomorrow.

We have 2 and a half weeks before opening night, and then we run the show for 3 weeks. Unfortunately, he is the second cast lead male and only has 4 performances in total. So I may not see him as much during the run of the show as I do now.

I know... this is soooo complicated. But something is keeping me from running away. I reckon if we are meant to be together then it will happen and nothing can stop it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-21-2004 - 10:39am
farawaygirl...

Thanks for sharing your situation. It's definitely a unique one.

If you HONESTLY think there are feelings (from him) for you...what's wrong with striking up a conversation and discussing 'your future dramatic aspirations' with each other? You both have the enjoyment of being in a play together, but very often...when 2 people relate to something that they like...other similarities start to emerge! This could be in the form of music, authors, sports heros, actors,....well, I'm sure you get the idea.

I realize you've picked yourself a "shy one"---but if you use your acting skills along with your charming personality...I'll bet you'll 'break the ice' eventually. As for your parents, I wouldn't discuss your feelings until the 2 of you are comfortable and compatible with each other. No point in making Mom and Dad angry if the 'off-stage chemistry' between you isn't there....right?

Pianoguy