what's happening?inputs please..

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2003
what's happening?inputs please..
Sat, 11-06-2004 - 8:34am
Hi.. here's my issue.

I've been dating this guy (i'm in my early 20s and he's 7 years older) for a little over three months. During our first 2 months, things went well, we talked, laughed, see each other at least once a week, affectionate,etc.

Before our relationship started,during the early stages, it's abvious that he's got feelings for me and etc, and that time he mentioned that he's not fooling around but looking for a steady girlfriend who'll eventually will be his wife, told me about his family backgrounds, his relationship histories, whereby he had two horrible past relationships but he swears the past is the past.

After many deep talks, which it's visible that he believes in marriage, kids and commitment, we got together.

The 1st two months, he would very often call me almost daily and tell me details of his day and would say or text sweet words like "i miss you" and etc.

He was showing so much of positive signs in the early stages of our relationship, whereby he introduced me to some of his friends in our 3rd week together.

There was once when i was tight up with work without seeing him for a week, was surprised that he sent flowers over to my office reading "happy working!" which i thought was really thoughtful and sweet.

Ok now here's the issue.

Recently,entering into our 4th month, i'm beginning to feel that he's starting to cool off, and that's getting me all tight up. i know there'll be a time in a relationship where things would eventually cool off, but i find it too early.. and all negative things are running thru my head such as 'is he losing interest', 'what have i done wrong to deserve this treatment'?

He doesn't call as often, we hardly see each other as both us has been tight up with work and other matters. He rarely makes the effort to plan dates, though he said he'll put in more effort after a little talk few weeks back, after telling him how hurt and dissapointed i am when he sometimes cancels our date at the last minute.

He's just all the sudden in the silent mode. All this seems like a red flag to me. Should i address this issue to him?I'm getting frustrated and felt like just giving up.

Am i being over sensitive? my guts are telling me to have an "us" talk before breaking up with him.

oh god! this is driving me crazy!

thanks.