What's his motivation here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2006
What's his motivation here?
1
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 5:11pm
My ex and I broke up in December, on good terms, but none the less broke up. To me it came out of left field... he and I had a few "spatty" fights, but nothing big. In fact, a week prior we had been at a party and when we got home he told me that "he missed me." (I had been circulating and paying a lot of attention to his friends -- I didn't want him to feel like he had to babysit me.) Anyway, after we broke up, we continued to "talk" via email almost every day until April. He even called me on Valentine's Day (which I got angry about, but he said that it was innocent). A few times in there, I had enough and told him so, but wasn't able to stick to my convictions. In April, he saw what it was doing to me, and we both decided not to talk -- again, no anger, just being adults.
This was fine for about two months. Then, his friend (who I barely knew) invited a lot of people to happy hour and strangely enough, included me on this list. Of course I wasn't going to go, and responded that while I appreciated the invite, I was busy. My ex then called me that night to tell me that he had nothing to do with that invite (but of course, I should feel free to go if I wanted to). That was it for a while. I emailed him asking him something important and texted him once to say something not-so-important (I know, I shouldn't have). Then, it starts. Last week he texted me to tell me that he had a dream about me. I ignored it. Friday night (who does that on a Friday night?!) he texted me to see if I would be around for the holiday weekend. I ignored that too. I don't want to be bitchy, but I know that if we get close again, I'll wind up getting hurt. So, my question is -- how should I handle this? And, is he only contacting me because he is lonely (and, well, selfish?) He's that guy who always prides himself "on doing the right thing."
Thanks for the input!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Mon, 07-03-2006 - 2:31am
If you know that you'll get hurt again, then continue to do what you're doing...ignore his text messages and calls. Sooner or later he'll get the message. He may be dateless and planless and that is why he's sending you texts, but that's not your problem..it's his.