What's the hold up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2007
What's the hold up?
2
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 8:05pm
I have an issue that hopefully someone can hit it on the nail. Me and this guy have been friends for four years now, and he recently graduated from college so he's home now. Anyways our relationship has mainly been mentally. By him being at school over the years we would mainly talk on the phone, and we would visit each other when he would come home to visit. So a month ago before he came home for good, we had a conversation about committing. Well he brought the issue up like I miss my girl, and I'm like who's your girl, he said I was. So now I'm actually laughing because I really never took him serious, so he said "no i'm serious I ready to commit when I get home I want you to be apart of my life it's about time for me to settle down, I'm not getting any younger and this is something I've been thinking about." So at this time I wanted to cry because I have always wanted to be with him but in my mind I always said no we're not going to be together. So this was a shock that he would come out and say this. I told him I wouldn't mind being in a relationship with him and I said when he said he graduates in a couple of weeks and we will when he gets home. Now two weeks have passed already not that I am rushing anything but I want to know what's taking him so long to get it out that he wants to be with me. We have not spent any quality time together yet because of my schedule, I have been busy balancing work and school/ I told him I will see him this weekend. Lately I had to stop myself from calling because I felt I was calling too much, I can see that was kind of distancing us away from each other. When I told myself I wasn't going to call anymore, that's when he started calling me but I'm still in the mind state like I'm not going to do the things I would normally do. So he's been calling me like every three days, he asked how come I don't call I told him I felt like I was calling too much, he said no I wasn't but guys will say anything. Out of the four years we've known each other we have only been intimate only once which was two years ago. Do you think he's serious? Will a guy bring up commitment if he isn't serious? I need help. Someone please tell me what's the hold up and why he isn't bringing the issue up, is it maybe because we haven't spent time with each other or is he afraid? Please help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Thu, 05-24-2007 - 9:54pm
"Now two weeks have passed already not that I am rushing anything but I want to know what's taking him so long to get it out that he wants to be with me." -- I'm confused. Didn't the two of you have a conversation a month ago where he did tell you that he wanted to be with you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Fri, 05-25-2007 - 6:58pm
It definitely does sound like mixed messages
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