What's wrong with me? Have I moved on?
Find a Conversation
| Sun, 02-12-2006 - 10:08pm |
My ex and I were together for 6-7 yrs and we were real close so the break up was very messy and painful, I had an extreme tough time getting over it. It has been exactly 2 yrs since we've broken up, and my lfe has changed a lot since. I finished university (I'm now 25), I have a really good career, I made some new friends who are now my best friends, I party a lot, generally I'm very happy. I swear that I've moved on from him. I dont think about him, I dont care what's happening in his life, I even ran into him with his new girl one time and I didnt feel a thing - zilch. But I have to admit, I dont have the heart to throw out any of his old letters to me. The other day I took some out, started reading them and I just started crying, really really hard. I dunno if I miss him or just miss what we had. I have not had a serious boyfriend since we broke up because no one has made me feel head over heels. But feeling the way I felt when I read those letters are making me question myself whether I've really moved on from the heartache or I've just been distracting myself from thinking about him. Why havent I found someone new? I've dated many men within the past two years but none of them could make me fall in love with them, no matter how good they were to me. I know if I had the chance to get back with the ex, I wouldn't. Then what's my problem?
It's a silly question but how does one move on, and I mean from within the heart, not just from distractions (which is what Ive been doing). I dont want to hold on to this and ruin my chances of ever falling in love again...

It doesn't sound to me like you are holding on to HIM at this point, so much as you are mourning not being in a relationship.
It's not surprising that you haven't felt ready to fall in love with someone new for 2 years following that long of a relationship. I bet you'll start feeling more open as time goes on.
Sheri