When to declare love?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2004
When to declare love?
11
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 12:43am
Hi everyone,

I am new here! It seems like a great site. Anyway, I really need help right now. I have been dating a guy that I really, really like. We have gone out for 6 weeks and had really great time. The problem is even though we say how much we miss and like each other, we never mentioned the word "love." We won't be spending the summer together since he will do an internship abroad. We will have our last date in two days. I am wondering if it's the right move to express how I feel to him before he leaves for the summer.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 10:57am
ichiya...

Just a thought....but are you TRULY IN LOVE with this man...or just afraid that the Summer separation might bring your relationship to a close?

Distance makes a lot of couples dissolve...and other couples nervous about the idea. So instead of using the "L" word...why not ask your b/f if the 2 of you can set up an early date the moment he returns from his internship because you're "gonna miss him like crazy" for 3 months!!!

Now if that sentence doesn't get some sort of a response out of him...I don't know what more I can say? BEST OF LUCK!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 1:19pm

Hello ichiya!

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 3:03pm
Thank you guys! You are have been really helpful.

I don't think I will say the L word. I really do like him and miss him all the time, but I'll wait until I am 100% sure that I do love him. I hope this separation will bring us closer and I am sure looking forward to the first date when he comes back.

Thanks again guys! It's really nice to be here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 3:16pm
Well now... that sounds like a good plan!! Good luck to both of you! Glad we could help...

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2004
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 3:17pm
One more question, since we never mentioned the L word, how can I know if he is my "boyfriend" and not just casual friend? Don't we need to mention the L word to confirm that we are boyfriend/girlfriend?

Thanks guys!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 3:27pm
I think the decision to date exclusively (which is the point I consider someone my "boyfriend") comes WELL before loving someone.

I also think it takes far longer than six weeks to love someone. Love requires in depth knowledge of the person, and that would be difficult if you've only been dating that long. You can certainly be infatuated or falling in love with someone you don't know well, but real love takes time.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sat, 05-22-2004 - 3:43pm
Some have a criteria for the term "boyfriend" and "girlfriend"... I don't know that it depends on the word "love" to put a tag or label on someone. If you are comfortabl4e referring to him as your boyfriend, then do so.

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-23-2004 - 12:59pm
Pianoguy agrees with you, Terry!

If the lady uses: "THE L WORD" instead of saying the words: "I LOVE YOU"...there's definitely some hesitation here.

By the way...thanks (as always) for mentioning my music in a few of your other posts. Just like Palladin (from that classic TV show: HAVE GUN WILL TRAVEL)...if an interested client has a piano and wants me to provide a little music for a special occasion...I'M READY TO TRAVEL!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2004
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 2:32pm
Pianoguy and tg,

I am comfortable using the word "love." I refered to the "L" word since I saw it being used quite often here and did not realize the consequences of using the "L" word, rather than using the word "love."

I totally agree with the previous post. I might like this guy a lot and want to date him exclusively, but real love takes time. I really want to wait to see if I LOVE him or not.

Thank you pianoguy, tg, and Sheri (and others) for all your responses! I feel very welcome here..


And pianoguy, do you really play music? (Sorry, I am new here). I always admire people who do so..

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 4:13pm

Six weeks isn't even 2 months, hon.

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