When do you know?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
When do you know?
2
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 12:48pm

Well I thought that I would go out side my circle of friends to see what others would say...

I have been dating this guy for about 7 months now... He is a great man. I really enjoy spending time with him. We just have a few issues....

1. Have not had sex in 2 months... he is worried about having more children, and I can not take any birth control due to medical reasons. We have tried the condoms and he is not able to orgasm that way. We talked about him getting fixed. I am not sure how to deal with this anymore. I have asked him if the passion is gone, and if we are just friends. He swears that we are more then friends... and he likes me very much. He is very affectionate with me… always holding my hand and kissing me, making sure I sit next to him on the couch and what not. It is like this when we are in public or just behind closed doors. He is 37 and I am 31. Maybe it is an age thing…. I am just not sure what to think.

2. My friends think it is weird that we have been dating for this long and neither of us has told the other that we love them.

If you have any advice on either of these, please help...

Totally Lost!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 4:32pm
I think that it is a little odd to not have sex for two months in an otherwise passionate relationship but the fear of procreating can be a powerful one. Will you be able to take the pill again? As long as there is an end in sight to this sexual hiatus I dont see that as a huge problem.
The 7 months without the three little words thing will probably get you a bunch of different opinions. I think it all depends on how much the two of you have been together in terms of actual time. Some times people are going out exclusively but only see each other once a week and then it takes longer to be sure of such things. My bf and I see each other every day so things progressed very quickly. It is a big deal to say this to someone and it is up to the two of you to decide when you are ready for this step. Have you talked about it at all?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Tue, 10-24-2006 - 6:15pm
We live about 2 hours away from each other... but are able to see each other about 2 times a week, He, or I will stay with the other over the weekends. I have not talked to him about this.... I guess the whole fear of "where is this going" topic... I have been told by my doctor that I more then likely should NOT take the pill again... My body does not handle it well... I tried the patch and I had the same reaction to that as I did the pill.... I am also to the point... where I hate asking about it any more... I do not want him to feel like that is all I am looking for, I enjoy him on so many different levels... but that part is very nice as well...