when to say those 3 words?
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when to say those 3 words?
| Thu, 09-01-2005 - 4:08pm |
I know that there isn't really a time frame on saying "I love you," but is there such a thing as saying it too soon. And I've always been told I'll know when the time is right because I'll feel it. But how am I supposed to 'know' if I haven't felt it before? I would like some friendly advice on this important topic, so if you have any, I'm open to suggestions.

sara6241...
PG thinks the only time to say those 3 little words is when YOU ABSOLUTELY MEAN THEM!
Men and women often say them out of "reflex" instead of LOGIC! And afterwards, start asking themselves: "Why did I tell him/her that I LOVE HIM?"
Something else to keep in mind. Just because you have strong feelings for somebody doesn't mean those feelings will be MATCHED by the person you like? So if you choose to say the words...prepare yourself in advance for a response that you might not be expecting?
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Pianoguy
I guess it all depends on the relationship you're having. Generally, however, I like to wait until I can really really feel it. And until it becomes so unbearable that I just HAVE to say it. My ex and I were together for 3 years but it took one whole year for us to say to each other "I love you". And when it happened it was truly magical. For months beforehand, though, I was agonising over the fact that I so wanted to tell him how I felt but I was afraid of his response. In the end he was the one who came forward with it first. I was so taken aback that I couldn't say anything and started crying. The relationship didn't work out but despite that I know that that moment was true and this is one nice memory I can still keep.
In all other relationships I've had the words were said much earlier in the piece. But I don't even remember those moments now. It feels like they were not true although I know I did eventually love those other men too.
Personally, I don't trust men who tell me they love me after a month or two of knowing me. How can you really love someone so soon? You're still infatuated. You're still getting to know each other. You are still at your best behaviour.
i agree. i've been reading a lot on this board and a few others about girls (mostly) wanting to know then the right time is or how to tell him or how they know if he loves her back and it's kinda shocking to see that ppl are writing that after 2 or 3 months they already know that what they have is love. maybe i'm just skeptical that you truly don't know if you love someone for real after 2 months. i dont care if you see the person every day or once a week i believe you don't know.
but going back to the op, i think you can say it too soon and it's my belief that it puts pressure on the relationship. what if the other person isn't feeling that or they haven't let themself in the relationship as much as you have? what if it's 80/20 and although they may enjoy your company they don't love you. in that case saying it too soon may put pressure on the guy, on your relationship. doesn't it hurt to tell someone you love them and have them say "thank you"?? just wondering.
How long have you been dating? And has he said it yet? CAll me old fashioned but I think the guy should say it first. Also, you really will know when it feels like love. There's a warm glow, a sense of closeness, trust, giggling, comfort, etc.