when should he be part of your family??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
when should he be part of your family??
4
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 1:05pm
How long do you have to date someone before they become or should become "accepted" to be with you if there are family functions going on? such as a mothers' birthday, ( thanksgiving, Xmas etc?? should they be excluded because it's just "family" time? We just celebrated my mom's bday and since it was not celebrated in the home or my home my boyfriend of course was not going to be there...my mom never invited him and I felt well since it was at a restr for lunch they should not have to pay for him either..I told my son not to bring his girlfriend...but he usually brings her to my house when something is going on...boyfriend I've known now for over a year and a half....had it been my birthday of course he would have been included bec it's my choice...this year my kids will celebrate the Thanksgiving dinner at their fathers' house and have just dessert at my house so I'm planning to invite him here for dinner since it will be just my parents and I till the kids come for dessert...Christmas I think he might have his kids visiting so I think that will work out..I've tried to have him here now when I invite my parents over sometime for dinner and they are always polite but they've never invited us over to their house to eat except for a drink and that's only been about three times since I've known him...I don't think they like him much although he's very nice it really ticks me off...( Im 53 so no baby but they treat me like one)also now we have a first birthday for the grandson and my ex is refusing to come to it bec he does not want to see me apparently...my daughter is upset about that...in the past I could not have the boyfriend there like at the engagement party where my ex did show up bec he might see my boyfriend too...that's another point...when does the ex ever get introduced to the new boyfriend?? ....
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 7:56pm
I'd think it's more a matter of how serious the relationship is. If he's just a boyfriend, then maybe no one wants to bother getting to know him in case he doesn't stick around. If he was a fiance, then I'm sure people would feel better about him being at family functions since at that point, he'd be part of the family soon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 11:22pm

It sounds like he's part of your regular family functions anyway.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 11:23pm
but a lot of people never get married again and just have a long time boyfriend ..either living with them or not...should they not get equal treatment??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Tue, 10-03-2006 - 11:57pm
hmm yes I can see your point...but in my case he does not have much family here...his parents are dead..his brother a dork who won't meet me for some reason and even him...his one daughter I have met for like two minutes on the street..the other just moved away to Idaho with her idiot mother and supposedly she wants to meet me around Christmas..that remains to be seen...and I'm really not the one to have kept him away from anything formal...more like the attitude of the rest of the family ..also the fact that "obviously" he could not attend anything that my ex would remotely even come to...that I understand..it's just stupid I think...the whole situation..we'll see how the 'saga " continues....sorry about your breakup....thanks for the input...