when should he call after the 1st date?
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| Fri, 08-03-2007 - 11:44am |
Hello everyone, I have a question. I've been out of the dating loop for four years and just went out on a very good first date 6 days ago. Prior to the date, we had emailed back and forth, and at the end of the date he took my phone number and asked when a good time to call and/or email me would be. I thought the date went VERY well! Well, no word (not even an email) from this guy, and it's been a week. If he calls and asks to go out again, should I just say no? I know it's up to me, but I think if it goes over a week and then he contacts me, that's too long.
Also, what does everyone think about planning ahead? If a guy asks you out on a Thursday night to do something Friday or Saturday, that is too late right? I read somewhere that he should ask on Monday at the latest to secure a date. I know this sounds like "games" but really, in the inital phase of dating, I think it's important to play your cards right!
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

Well, I've found that the guys who are really interested in me contact me right away after the first date (within a day) or even ask me out for a 2nd date while we are still on the 1st. So I would say that this guy isn't interested, despite him asking for your number.
As far as whether you go out with him if he does eventually call, that's up to you, but at best, he's lukewarm about you if he waits that long.
As for the other question, I'm not a stickler for that--if I'm free and interested in seeing the guy, I'll go. But with my schedule, it's not likely that I *will* be free if he waits that long to ask--my evenings and weekends tend to fill up. Anyone I'm dating figures that out pretty quickly ;-).
Sheri
Ok, thanks for the advice. :)
Yeah, I just feel that I don't want to beat around the bush anymore. My last two boyfriends, it took them two weeks to call me after the first few dates, but then we dated for over 2 year....
I don't want to wait that long anymore. I think if he calls or sends an email over a week after our initial date, then I'll probably say no.
It was just weird though. He acted so "in" to me during the date. Maybe it was a show? Who knows.
I know, it's frustrating, isn't it? I've had that happen more times than I can count (and it's happened to many friends too, so I know it's not just me ;-)). The guy acts like he's having a great time, says he'll call and then...nothing. I'll occasionally give in to the urge to "prod" a guy I had a great first meet/date with by sending him an email but even when that results in another date, it always turns out he wasn't ALL that interested and that's why he didn't call in the first place.
Sheri
ok, this is weird, so everyone --he called me on Friday night. Five days after our date. It was on my new cell phone so I didn't have my voicemail set up. I sent a text to the number saying "Hello." he wrote back instanty saying, "hello! how have you been? How are you feeling? What are you up to tonight anything fun..." (i was recovering from mild food poisoning the 1st time i met him). I wrote back that I was better, but in bed, etc. And he again wrote back instantly saying that "Well, glad to hear that! I'm staying in tonight, but I will definitely talk to you soon for sure. Will let you get to sleep-- Sleep tight." Then, two days go by. NOTHING. He was probably drunk when he wrote that.
Well, I thougtht I had matured in the dating game after all these years, but I still behave like a schoolgirl when it comes to a guy calling me. lol. I think he was drunk when he called me Friday night. =(
You did just see him one time so if he does call and there is a very good chance he will, sure go.