When's the right time to get introduced?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
When's the right time to get introduced?
7
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 11:48am
my boyfriend and i have just gotten together (3 days). we've known each other for almost a month, so a fast progression lol. i'm 20 and hes 21/ originally we had talked about it a few times and he had first mentioned that he had wanted to go on a few more dates to make 100% sure that he wanted this even though he knew he just wanted to be with me. i had agreed to this, but during our conversation he changed his mind and said he wanted to be bf/gf but just wanted to take the relationship slow. so i said ok. he mentioned that he wanted about 2 weeks for us to get adjusted to each other and what not and then to start like telling friends introducing etc.i think because he moved a bit faster than he was planning too the around 2 weeks is just enough time to make sure that this is what he wants. im ok with that i just want to make sure that hes actually going to let people know. he did mention that he hates when people change their status like immediately on facebook and myspace so lol. umm, so far i neither of us have changed our myspace status that i know of. i did change my facebook status though. when we briefly talked about it for the first time he mentioned that he in general keeps his stuff private and that if people ask or come on to him he has no problem saying hes taken. i was just wondering what people's thoughts were- should he be announcing it to the world or what? lol. oh if it helps im an aquarius and hes a capricorn. umm, hes persian and im a biracial african american. thanks for everyones thoughts! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 12:01pm
One month is really new, but to me, time or whatever else doesn't matter if you're both on the same page. If you're both super in love with each other, then yah, let's change the status on those pages! (lol). It's just whatever you want I guess. If he wants to wait to announce or change page status,does that bother you? If it does, just tell him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 12:09pm
Hi Halle2007! Thanks for responding! Umm, i guess in a way it does bother me a little because I'm just a bit worried if he's trying to hide something. But I suppose I should give him like until the end of the month to become adjusted- maybe then like if it still bothers me then i can start mentioning it gently. i was just wondering what his motivation could be. is it normal for guys to be like that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 12:19pm
No, I wouldn't jump to thathe's hiding something. Didn't he already tell you that he hates when people change status right away? It's only been a month - y'alls are still really new! So I wouldn't make a big deal of it, personally. What's his motivation for waiting? Maybe waiting to feel super secure that you guys will last longer than a month. Nothing wrong with that, I think.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 2:11pm
I think that's fair. I'll wait for a while and see what happens. Thanks so much halle2007! :) When do you think would be a good time to become *intimate*? We haven't yet but the tension is getting a bit much lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2007
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 3:49pm
Ok, I know this is going to sound like a lame answer - I know, because when I ask questions I want really specific responses telling me what to do haha! - but the right time to be intimate is when you're both comfortable of course :) I was ready before my boyfriend (lol). I asked him and he said he wasn't ready, he didn't want to ruin the great thing we had by doing too soon. The next week we were together I was like, I really want to! And he said he really wanted to too! So we did! lol So in general it's just important to express what you want and then respect the other person if they're not ready. It'll happen when it's time!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 11:15pm

Hi Aletta. Every person has his or her own way of handling the situation of changing statuses on those websites, or closing the accounts altogether (preferred choice for me) and whether or not they announce anything to their friends and family.

Waiting for a few dates or a couple of weeks to see if there IS anything to say to anyone seems fine to me.

I'm kind of a private person so I can relate to the "not announcing to the world" feeling that he might have. The more special or important something or someone is to me, sometimes the less I want to expose it to others. This is only because of the screwed up people who have surrounded my life for so many years. So I have become protective that way. I am also the type of person who sometimes likes to keep special moments or things just for herself - like a treat. For some people that is being aloof or elusive, but not me.

I'm sure you went to the astrology website I linked for you one time, but if you don't have it: http://mizian.com.ne.kr/englishwiz/library/names/zodiac/aries.htm. I have never dated a Capricorn so I can't help you there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Sun, 06-17-2007 - 11:32pm
halle gives good advice here. Everyone has their own pace. I have no idea what the current climate is on the "3 date rule" anymore or if it has grown to "5 dates" or whatever. Most people advise to not sleep on the first date or two until you determine whether or not you even like the person, let alone sleep with him. I don't go by any rules so I am not a good person to ask.