where are all the sparks!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
where are all the sparks!?
2
Fri, 10-01-2004 - 11:21pm
i met a guy online, and we have been dating for about 2 months. i get a long really well with him, im attracted to him but for some reason there are no sparks flying. i cant really put a pin point on it, but i think one factor is that he lives at home with his parents. so thats one strike. Im thinking another factor may be that im just really busy right now (im in my last year of nrsing school) so hes not really a priority?? how long should you date someone before deciding whether or not to call it quits?? i dont want to let go too early and let someone good slip away, but at the same time i dont feel all that excited about him. any ideas?

steph
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-03-2004 - 6:31pm
The third date. If it ain't happening by then...if I have to give the guy so much time to grow on me...it's probably never going to happen.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Sun, 10-03-2004 - 7:52pm
Well, it can take longer for sparks, I believe. I have met guys before that I have felt well, 'he's okay', and with time, I became very interested and developed the animal attraction. I don't think that is unusual for females.

Me, for one, I don't necessarily get the sparks unless I KNOW their personality and get to know them. Yes, I can have attraction, etc... but I don't look at sparks and attraction necessarily as the same thing. I also tend to get sexually involved a little slower now that I have gotten older. I can gauge my interest in dating them again usually on first or second date. If I have interest in even going on additional dates with them, there is potential.

Maybe because you are so busy it is difficult to focus on this guy or what he can offer. I am currently in a similar situation. I met a guy I like and I am attracted to, but sparks just aren't really there for some reason. I am really, really busy with work, recent move, and also trying to network and make new friends. To me, I think the best thing is to take things SLOW and see only once per week or every other week for now. Just tell him you are interested,.... and you'd like to see where things go..... yet really busy right now, etc.....

Good luck, hang in there. You just never know......