Where did I go wrong?
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| Thu, 05-13-2004 - 6:55am |
First off, met him and got talking to him one night in a club, didn't really like him that much, we got talking and shared a kiss. Asked for my phone number, told him to come into the bar where I was working next week to come and see me. He turns up where I work the following week, they won't let him in as he hasn't got a ticket to come in on this particular busy night. Week later, he comes out in my town looking for me, bumps into him (still not that keen on him)he asks for my number, I tell him that I'll take his number and give him a call he says to me "Bet you don't ring" and needless to say, I don't cos at this point didn't particularly feel that attracted to him.
See him out two months later, end up chatting and sharing a kiss again. He can't believe I am with him. Keeps saying to me "Who are you trying to wind up?", "Have you got an ex-boyfriend in here that you want to make jealous?" Reassure him that this isn't the case. Ring his mobile cos I lost him in the club. Next evening I am getting ready to go on holiday for two weeks and I get a call on my mobile from him. He's acting really shy because he doesn't know what to say to me. His female friends in the background are telling him to "Just speak to her!" Tell him I'm going on holiday for two weeks but thanks for ringing me. (Starting to quite like him at this point).
Text him the next day when I am on my way to the airport and he doesn't reply (his mobile is not working).
Don't hear anything whilst on holiday. Come back, go out in my town, see his friend who tells my friend that *simon* is really 'into' me.
A week goes past, *Simon* rings me to see if I'm out that Saturday night. Say yes and offer to meet him. I do so. Apparently he has been saying to his mates "She's not going to turn up." When I get in the club where he is waiting for me, he comes over with a big grin on his face. His friends are coming over to me saying *Simon* is totally hooked on you. He drops his mates and hangs around with myself and my friend. He buys all our drinks all night. Acts like a bessotted love sick puppy. At this point, I am really warming to him.
He keep asking my friend all night "Does she really like me??"
Stay at his house, he doesn't try anything on because he tells me he wants to take things slowly as he really likes me.
Next day, Sunday, He rings me three times to tell me he is missing me and he is in love with me. Tell him to slow down as he barely knows me. Tell him I do like him though.
Arrange to meet him the Monday night. Do so and have a fantastic evening. A lot of chemistry. Have a good laugh together, have things in common. He wants to know when he can see me again and I say I'm busy all week, will meet him sunday. He is fine with this. He tells me he is tired but doesn't want to leave me. I go back to his house. Again, we don't have sex as things get heavy, but he stops and says he would really like to take it slowly.
Rings me Thursday of that week, checks still meeting up Sunday - say "Yes, that will be good."
Calls me Saturday to check again, is out on beer with friends. That night I'm at work, he texts off his mate's phone to see if I want to meet him at the club where he is. Messages get confused and I ring him to tell him to meet me elsewhere as it is not worth going in that club for half an hour and paying all that to get in. He said that he will pay for us. Try to arrange to meet him elsewhere, but having trouble to get him to hear or understand! Needless to say, he doesn't turn up. Next day he rings me to check still meeting me that evening. Say Yes. Said he can't really remember the evening before, so leave it to drop. Tells me he is feeling a bit ill from all the drinking he did day before.
Get a call at 7 pm asking if we can 'leave' it for tonight because he is feeling really rough and has just been sick. I say "fine, Give you a call in the week." with no intention of doing because he was the one to let me down, he can ring me. He starts going on about he's going to have his own mobile back soon, so I'll be able to get in touch on that from now on.
We're now on Thursday, he hasn't rang! Where did I go wrong? He was so into me! Why did he go off me?
Please someone give me some insight cos I'm going mad!

He said things like "she isn't into me" etc etc and when you didn't appear interested that's when he was onto you like a rash.
Then, after you have shown some commitment to him and have agreed to see him on a few occasions, he lets you down.
Unfortunately he sounds quite immature. I'm not sure what your ages are, but even so, he is acting very childish. If he was really sick (which I'm not arguing), he should have made specific plans to meet up with you at your next available opening.
I'm glad you decided not to call him. Another post here said that men pride themselves in being the hunter and unfortunately that's instinct, so we can't do much about that. So I say let him hunt you and if he wants to see you he will call. And if he does, remain on your guard until you can trust him not to let you down again.
Good luck and keep us in the loop!
You're a party girl willing to kiss and make out without being dated....so therefore if he wants action of some sort (notice every time he said "we're going to stop here and take it slow" your next encounter had you going further physically at your acceptance and/or initiation) or a hottie on his arm - he calls you.
But he is NOT wanting ot date or form a relationship - if he was he'd e asking you out and taking you out to places that he could get to know you - not just show you off, liquor you up, and get physically intimate to some extent.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
but hes been rejected by you far more times that you've been receptive to him. this is in addition to the games ... i think hes probably got 2-3 other girls hes hanging with. men need to be the pursuers most of the time, but in a rare circumstance like this one - you need to be more receptive than you would of been with a guy you said yes to the first time. the balance thing is difficult though!
Thanks for answering my post...
Just one more question though, is it possible for him to have gone off me when I haven't even seen him since the last time he really showed an interest?
i read in mars/venus on a date (good book for a sense of humor aspect and some truth) that men can be turned on/off quickly. but women slowly build attraction, the exact opposite of men! so yes while we cant understand it, its very easy for men to be unattracted all of a sudden without reason. they just decide 'ehhh i dont like her anymore' and move on.
my advice to you in this whole senario. move on.
i think you are stuck on the fact hes no longer intersted. and hey i would be too. i'd question what the heck? and be a bit ticked that when i showed interest is when he took off. but also, i'd realize (and you shoudl too :)), 'hey he isnt for me since he seemed to disappear after i showed interest'.