Where do I fit into this?
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 09-11-2004 - 10:38am |
So the guy and I met up a couple of days later and had a little impromptu date. He revealed to me that the girl was actually his ex wife and they were just hanging out together. I thought it was kind of strange but thought he was probably very mature to have that sort of friendly relationship with his ex. (They were only married for a little over a year and she left him).
So about five months have gone by and he and I have become quite close and intimate toghether. Everything would be fabulous if I didn't know that he is actually still grieving his ex and is going through a great deal of pain. I want to be there for him and give him the support I know he needs, but I feel like I'm being used. I know he loves me on a deep level, but how can I really exist with him while he's still finalizing his divorce and trying to heal himself with her still in the picture?
Recently I've told him to give me space. I kind of feel that I should just end things completely, but knowing how great we are together makes me feel that I'll be throwing away a great love.
So, honestly, without much experience in situations like this I need some advice!

You've asked for "a little space"----so the answer probably boils down to HOW MUCH and FOR HOW LONG?
Pianoguy isn't suggesting that an EX husband and wife can't do an occasional social thing every now and then....as FRIENDS! BUT...when most couples END a marriage or a relationship...THEY END IT! They usually don't communicate or socialize...they move on!
See what happens over the next 2 weeks. If the man calls you...arrange a place and a time to have dinner...so you each can "voice your concerns!" If you end up hearing a lot less from HIM during the next 2 weeks, it's probably because he doesn't want to make the choice of swapping any of his attention for THE EX...as an exchange for a full-time commitment to you!
I hope things work in your favor?
Pianoguy