Where the wild things are....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2004
Where the wild things are....
6
Sun, 08-29-2004 - 8:29pm
I'm a 35 year computer engineer, currently working in brain science. I'm independent and stable, yet still adventurous and fun. I love music, and go to a lot of shows and festivals. I go to art gallery openings and read good literature. I love Anime, art house films, and Kung Fu movies. I love to go camping and hiking, and can't pass up a road trip. I look like a woman in a Jeep commericial; shorts and tank top, ample cleavage, sunglasses, big smile, hair blowing in the wind, dog wagging her tail in the back seat as the dust flies across the sunset on a remote mountain track.

I have comfortable, happy life with lots of freinds and everything I need. I know who I am, and I like myself. I tossed the baggage of the past out years ago, and I've done pretty good since then. I get along great with guys, and often hang out and talk to them at a party, not with the intention of picking them up, but just because I feel more comfortable standing around the keg-erator in the garage enjoying a tasty home brew and talking about the Simpson's.

I don't really need anything from a boyfriend, I just want an accomplice in mischief who'll stick around for more fun, and maybe watch some DVDs and make some pizza in the meanwhile. Pretty simple. Trouble is, most guys I meet, especially as I get older, really want a girlfriend who will soon become a great wife and mom. They're sweet, and I respect that life, but it's just not for me. I will be on a beach sipping an icy cocktail when I'm older, singing jazz in a Japanese nighclub, on a Walkabout in Australia, not tending to grandkids. I want a best friend I can have hot sex and adventures with, not somebody to pay my mortgage (they should be able to pay their own mortgage, though).

I can't be somebody I'm not, and being alone's no injury, but it would be great to have a buddy for those road trips. What do you think? Do all guys want a family at my age, or are there some still out there appreciate a free thinking, fun woman?

-Leela

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-29-2004 - 8:45pm
Please know that I'm not laughing AT you, but I did laugh out loud upon reading your post! I seem to meet MOSTLY men who couldn't be less interested in marriage (which is what I want from a r'ship), and that is a common complaint among most of the single women I know.

So, yes, for sure they are out there...we need to trade dates, it sounds like ;-).

Sheri

P.S. I also want the hot sex and adventures (I'm a goer and doer also)...I don't see marriage as precluding those things in the least.


Edited 8/29/2004 8:47 pm ET ET by northwestwanderer

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Sun, 08-29-2004 - 9:04pm
Wow, I agree with the 2nd poster - where are these guys who want a relationship!! I have tonnes of phone numbers I could give you for a guy that would probably think you're the greatest. And particularly, the older ones (mid thirties) who are still single are generally the ones who especially don't want commitment - they're used to being alone and just want times of fun.

Anyway, I wish you good luck - there are lots of those guys out there. Maybe you could take the initiative and ask the ones out taht you see as being potential fun. Those kinds of guys like a girl who takes initiative (I think)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 1:06pm
Wow... I am not saying this to be rude, not in the least, so please don't take it that way... but I could literally vomit right now! Where the hell are these men you're meeting? Mars? Or are you just so unbelievable gorgeous/fun/witty that they all lose their minds and propose upon introduction?

I just had my heart ripped out by an A-Hole that I spent 6 1/2 years of my life with, thinking he was going to be the man I married and had children with. Turns out he decided he didn't want those things anymore and that you're the kind of girl he's looking for. If I wasn't so sure you two would live happily ever after (which would again, make me vomit), I'd give you his number.

Rhandi

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2004
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 4:20am
hmmm... i'm really surprised by the unamimous response. No, I'm not some hot find by any means. I guess I'd say I'm pretty humorous, but it's more the bawdy, racuous variety. It's not that I'm looking for players. I like to stick with one person for a while, but that's just not forever... when the spark is gone, I'm done. "I love you" is great to hear, "I need you" sends me packing.

My advice(what I do, anyway), would be to ignore the guys who seem really interested in you and are chatting you up. Look for the unassuming ones who are looking at their shoes when you walk by. Those are the good ones who actually like you. Don't ask them out whatever you do, but stand around talking about cars or something non-threatening long enough so that they can stammer it out. No matter what guys say, they like to be in pursuit, never pursued. Then, if things go well, refuse to move in or let them keep more than a toothbrush at your place. Don't call them just to "talk". Don't make a point of dressing up for them. Don't buy them stuff you think would look cute on them/in their house. Be completely uninterested in making long term plans. Tell them you don't really know that you want kids. Refuse to meet their parents. That should have them proposing in a few months:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 4:29pm
I really got a kick out of your self-description. You really created a vivid picture of yourself. About picking the guys who stare at their shoes - to me, that screams potential "needy" guy, not to be confused with potential "relationship material" guy. Anyway, back to your original post. I think you might find the kind of guy you're looking for if you used that same self-description in an online dating profile. No doubt you'd get some guys who really do want that white picket fence scenario eventually, but you might find some guys who sincerely want the same as you. It might be worth a try. Honestly, you sound like a lot of fun, delightfully different from most women, and there's got to be some guy out there who would thank his lucky stars he found you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 6:40pm

My advice(what I do, anyway), would be to ignore the guys who seem really interested in you and are chatting you up. Look for the unassuming ones who are looking at their shoes when you walk by. Those are the good ones who actually like you.


Something about your 2 posts are inconsistent...


You say you want a man who doesn't want a relationship, but then you ignore the men who are chatting you up.

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