Which to Choose?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Which to Choose?
Mon, 06-04-2007 - 12:18pm
Hi everyone, I am 26 and I recently broke up with my ex of 6 years. We loved each other but he was not making any further commitment to marriage so I grew resentful and then spiteful. It made me bitter where I didn’t want anything to do with him. He retaliated back at me for my bitterness which made for lots of fighting. Overall he is very sweet to me and would do anything for me. Our families know each other; we share the same money habits, same values and everything. The problem is that he can be condescending and he had no desire to proceed with marriage. When I started attending school again he became jealous of me succeeding it seemed. So we do have our issues, which needed to have been discussed because we never communicated well. I think the problem was our age and being new to relationships. Well before my ex and I broke up I met a guy and we became friends. We had the same life goals and common interests. He is so proud of me and is interested in everything I do. He makes me feel like a million bucks. He and his wife are separated right now and he has two kids already. We went on a couple dates and had a great time. I could really see myself with him in my future. He said he wants to be in my future and wants the marriage and kids with me too. The problem is that he is not the practical choice for me. I know that if he and his wife fully divorced he would have to pay child support and on top of that he doesn’t make a lot of money to begin with. The connection between this new guy and me is amazing. We are like sole mates or something. Money is not important to me aside from the fact I know that it causes a lot of divorces. Since I have never been married I don’t know the stress and toll it could take on my marriage with this guy one day. Also, he has kids and I know the stresses of dealing with an ex-wife and everything would be tough. I guess my question is, do you choose a partner/husband for the practical reasons or because they make you feel good? I am getting mixed answers about the topic. But I wanted an unbiased opinion.