Who Pays Sexfair & Airfare?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Who Pays Sexfair & Airfare?
9
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 5:37am
Boyfriend asks girlfriend to accompany him to his neice's wedding out of state.

Boyfriend asks girlfriend to pay half the airfare and 30% of the hotel.

Why?

Because "he" would not need to stay at a hotel if "she" was not going because he could have stayed with a relative whose house is going to be full of out of town guests. He said he wanted her to be "comfortable" because the bathroom space at the house will be tough to share.

Girlfriend simply says: "I'll see you when you get back".

Boyfriend tells her THEN that he already bought the tickets to fly there for both of them because he "really" wants her to be with him for the weekend...and wants her to bring the fishnet stockings.

Boyfriend has a stinky habit of reminding her what he pays for.

Girlfriend feels obligated to go on the trip and she is a little pissed off.

Hellooooooooo!!!!????

Can somebody help me make some sense out of this.

What should she do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 8:27am
Girlfriend is being treated like a hooker and isn't even getting paid for it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 8:53am

Girlfriend needs new boyfriend.


Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 9:51am
Assuming you're the girlfriend....you realize this "dynamic" is going to prevail in every situation.

Basically, he does what he wants...and when he wants you along he "obligates" you by incurring financial expense which apparently he knows will in turn "obligate" you to pay him because of the standards you hold yourself to live up to.

Now...nobody would pay him for the tickets, etc. and "not go"......except in this case that is precisely what I'd do.

Because if my values said that if he incurred expense on my behalf BECAUSE I SAID I'D GO (if he incurred this expense ASSUMING I would play along - I would play nor pay)...I'd pay him whatever he asks.

But, i wouldn't be going on the trip because when I wrote him a check for the expenses I'd be telling him our relationship is over...and I'd mean it.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 10:23am
Girlfriend should stick to her original statement, 'see you when you get back'. Girlfriend is under no obligation to come along, to pay or to bring said fishnet stockings anywhere under duress. It sounds like the girlfriend is not comfortable standing up for herself, but now is a good a time as any to start.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 11:33am
I would have done the same thing. If he didn't want to pay for your ticket he shouldn't have invited you. It's his family, you are not obligated to pay for airfair to go nor should you have to pay for the hotel.

If you were going out of state to YOUR families wedding and invited him, I would expect you to pay for everything as well. If he already paid for the plane tickets he better not expect you to pay 30% or whatever, I'd say no.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 12:56pm
Girlfriend needs to tell boyfriend to pay for all b/c if I read right boyfriend asked girlfriend to go in the first place. You didn't ask to tag along he asked you. So girlfriend needs to get some backbone and say take the 30% and shove it. B/F needs to cough up the money and g/f needs to stand her ground and tell him you're not his on call hooker and if you so choose you will bring the fishnets. But no one demands nor tells me what to wear!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 1:45pm
THANK YOU!!!!

Girlfriend is dumping boyfriend. She's tired of his selfishness. Yanno what? Boyfriend of course mentioned to her that he had to do some "creative" money managing about the expenses. He isn't struggling with money by any means at all!!

This is the straw that breaks the camels back....finally. Girlfriend can't take it anymore.

Girlfriend told him to give the ticket to somebody else. He whined and almost literally cried because of course his family knows (exaggerate that word) how much he loves (exaggerate that one too) her.

Doing a Joan Rivers gag over here.

Whew. Girlfriend actually feels a sigh of relief.

You guys are great!!


Avatar for unsure4now
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 2:13pm
Good luck girlfriend. I really hope ya stick to your guns, and stick it to boyfriend!!!!

Good luck with the next one.........

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 3:27pm
No problem girl. I have had my share of guys like that in my life. I hope and prayer that the guy of your dreams comes along and sweeps you off your feet and treats you the way u were ment to be treated :)