why am i acting like sucha bitch?
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why am i acting like sucha bitch?
| Tue, 06-19-2007 - 1:51am |
i just meet a sweet guy about a week ago who's very good looking and drives a nice car and has a lot of money. ok can anything be wrong with him? no offcourse not,because he is perfect. Even the sex is the best ive ever had, but also the fastest time ever jumping in bed with a guy. He takes me out, drives me wheerever i like and calls me every day, yet i act like the biggest selfish player bitch ever. I never call him if he hasnt called first and i didnt answer his question when he asked me where i wanted "us" to go ( i know its a little early but he asked)i just ignored him and smiled. He cooked me lunch today and was very proud to do so but i was still a bitch and acted as if guys always cook me lunch although its never happened before. If he doesnt pay attention to me and talks to other girls or is on the phone while we're togeher i tell him that im leaving. I know some of the things are common respect rules but I know that ive taken it too far because i really really like him and i dont want to loose him by being sucha bitch and pretending not to care about what he does, he really goes out of his way to please me. I dont want to loose him but at the same time i dont want him to think that I am a doormat. What should i do and how can i tell him that i really do appreciate him? Today he asked me when I'll cook dinner for him and i said "we'll see" in other words never. I think im just protecting myself but at the same time hurting him. i can tell that i am, however he is so good looking that he always gets his ego stroked and i dont want to be just an\other one of those girls but i dont want to be seen as a ho' thats a bitch and doesnt care about ayone but herself. Today when he dropped me of to go to work he went to hang out with other girls and i became really mad and he didnt know why because i didnt want to tell him i was jealous and that i really like him. i dont want to hurt him but i dont want him to hurt me either what should i do?
Edited 6/19/2007 1:55 am ET by jazzyjazz2004
Edited 6/19/2007 1:55 am ET by jazzyjazz2004

If you're convinced he's actually a nice guy and not some kind of player, well, if you continue to treat him this way, you will lose him. Guaranteed. I would have left you already. You may have already done a lot of damage to the relationship and his opinion of you and the relationship. If you want to change/fix things...talk to him. Or, if that's too hard, write him a card. You don't have to lay your entire soul bare to him, but you could be sure to express that you truly do like him and appreciate him and you know you've been a bit difficult. See what his reaction to all that is.
As to why you're doing it...too hard a question. One probably only you can answer. Or you in combination with talking a whole lot, to friends, to family, to a therapist, finding the right self-help book, whatever. Have you been burned in the past?
>i dont want him to think that I am a doormat.
An actual nice guy doesn't look at the world in this way. It isn't possible to be a doormat to a nice guy, he doesn't conceive of the world in that way. What is a doormat anyway? Being too "easy" about everything? To a nice guy "easy" just = "easy to get along with". Ok, if you're TOO "easy" to a nice guy you might appear to be someone who has no opinions/interests or particular enthusiasm about anything, which is kind of boring, but I doubt you'll ever go that far.
>he is so good looking that he always gets his ego stroked
Guess what? IF he truly likes you and YOU *never* stroke his ego...what will he then think? He'll probably think you don't think much of him. Do people stay with people that don't think much of them? No.
>i became really mad and he didnt know why because i didnt want to tell him i was jealous and that i really like him.
Be honest. Tell him you were jealous. You will stroke his ego and let him know you like him. Why is that so bad?
>i dont want to hurt him but i dont want him to hurt me either what should i do?
All relationships risk hurt to yourself. That's life. If it turns out he's a slick, dishonest player, and you get hurt...hopefully next time you get better at spotting players. That's about all you can do. Unless you want to avoid relationships, ruin them, drive away good guys, etc. You can have an honest relationship AND protect yourself. And you can STILL get hurt. Even if the guy isn't a player. That's life.