Why am I not the girlfriend-type anymore

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2006
Why am I not the girlfriend-type anymore
1
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 4:16pm

I had a very serious boyfriend for about two and a half years. I loved him (and still do, very much) but we decided to go our separate ways for a while. I've been single for more than a year now, but can't help wondering a few things.

I've dated a couple of guys who seem very interested. We would spend a lot of time together and see each other a lot, but after a while things would just end. Nothing spurred it, such as a fight or what not .. he would just quit calling out of no where. I am a very laid-back person, so I blow these things off pretty easily .. until both guys that I had dated quite extensively jumped right into serious relationships directly after dating me. I can't help but keep wondering, why am I not girlfriend material?

It bothers me so much because I had such a serious relationship before, and know that I am capable of being the girlfriend type, but apparently guys just don't see me that way. Friends of these men that I used to date tell me that I am very fun to be around and that I'm kind of like 'one of the guys' but I want to be the GIRLFRIEND again!! It's driving me nuts, and I can't help but admit that it hurts a lot.

Is there any insight into this? I feel like I'm the only one out there who seems to be viewed as "undateable" at the current moment. ANY advice or suggestions to what my problem may be would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-26-2006 - 9:52pm

ej2006...

Pianoguy doesn't know you personally...nor did you post your profile...so the following thoughts will probably sound generic?

Most men form an instant impression about a woman's personality by her mannerisms, sex appeal, ability to relate to both sexes and outlook on life. It's entirely possible that some of your....err...."choices in men" have expected you to behave in a certain manner? And when you didn't...they were either disappointed or got frustrated?

Try to remember that WE'RE FORMING AN IMPRESSION based "THE VIBES" you choose to share with us! If a man finds that he can't figure you out after a certain period of time has elapsed...he'll probably drop you and seek out a different woman as a substitute?

There's a major difference between a woman who is "playing hard to get" and "deliberately being totally difficult for any man to understand!"

Feminine Teasing will only work for a minimum amount of time.

Pianoguy