Why Can't He Just Tell Me He's Not Interested

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2001
Why Can't He Just Tell Me He's Not Interested
Wed, 07-24-2013 - 9:24pm

I'm dating this guy who I have developing strong feelings for and as soon as I expressed my feelings and that I was falling for him, I felt that he lost interest. The last text I received from him was that he had some roommate drama that he was dealing with and couldn't hang out. We used to see each other once/twice a week and we've been dating for about 6months now. Can I assume that his roommate drama was code for I'm not interested in hanging out anymore? I have not heard from him since he last wrote that text and I've reached out to see if he wants to meet up. Unfortunately because we are FB friends I can see that he's hanging out with his friends and not staying home and sorting through roommate drama. I think I just need to move on and keep myself occupied/focus on myself but curious whether I should be reaching out to him to find out what happened between us? It upsets me that he may no longer be interested but upsets me even more that he can't have a conversation with me even after we've dated for a few months.

Avatar for purp2010
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2010

Don't bother contacting him anymore.

He is obviously done and the only thing you will get from reaching out to him is rejection, at this point.

Six months is a bit of a milestone in a relationship and when you told him your feelings he probably realized he didn't feel the same.

Keep your dignity and reach out to your girlfriends or family instead of texting or calling him.

It's pretty clear. He's done.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I agee that it's very bad manners that after 6 months a guy would just drift away and not talk to you about his feelings--you might expect that after 2 dates, but not after a long period of time.  Apparently this guy is a wimp and just doesn't want to do the adult thing and talk to you and just figured that if he stops calling you, that eventually you'll get it that he doesn't want to see you, which you have figured out by now.  I wouldn't even bother trying to get the real story because he probably wont' man up and tell you anyway--he'll just make up more excuses about being busy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Everyone is right. Unfortunately, asking for the truth in dating rarely works because a) they are afraid to tell the truth or b) they just don't know it and c) to please you they might tell you what you want to hear not the truth. So it's no use asking. It's hard but let it go.