why cant he trust me?
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| Thu, 10-14-2004 - 11:34pm |
me and my boyfriend have been together for about 7 months now and he still does not trust me, i was writing to my best friend of 13 years and he was accusing me of talking to her about having her hook me up with one of her boyfriends friends and he is always saying well dont cheat on me dont cheat on me and i sit there and tell him numerous times that i love him and only him and i will never cheat on him in the world. but he just dont get it. or he'll be at work and say that i had some guy over or i like this person or that person or i was looking at a person in another car. i would really never cheat on this man, he gets mad when i admit to looking at another guy but he thinks it's ok for him to look at other girls. i understand that he has had girls in the past cheat on him with other people but i feel like im a new girl and im not like that. i have never cheated on anyone i have ever been with and i told him that. i just dont know i to get him to understand because this really does hurt. please help me.
holly

Good luck sweetie!
If your b/f has been cheated on in the past....a "wall of suspicion" gradually is constructed. While you might be the most honest, devoted, loving female on this planet...he'll still have his doubts!
Pianoguy is curious.
Is this man so important to you that you're willing to spend the rest of our life "under surveillance?" Because whatever attention you might wish to pay to a member of the opposite sex...you're gonna have to look over your shoulder first to check that your b/f isn't watching!
Doesn't sound like the foundation for a long-lasting relationship to me! The trust he's supposed to have is definitely missing.
Pianoguy
Two things could be happening here. 1) as you said, girls have burned him before. You need to explain that you are not them. You don't think like them, you don't act like them, and you've never given him any reason to think that you are. And unless he's willing to accept that and learn to trust you, you need to walk away. You don't want to end up under house arrest and have to justify every move you make.
Or 2) he's cheating on you. Yes, that's right, one of the signs of a cheater is accusing the other of cheating. He knows that if he can cheat on you, that it's just as easy for you to cheat on him. Also cheaters do this to try to justify their actions. Or they do it to keep the innocent on the defensive so they don't suspect anything. Just something to consider.
Either way, I don't think this is a relationship worth salvaging. If he loved you he wouldn't want to hurt you so.
E