Why can't I do the right thing?
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Why can't I do the right thing?
| Wed, 07-28-2004 - 11:59am |
I met a guy over the weekend, I'll call him Pete. We really had a connection; I haven't felt this way about anyone in a long time. He and his friend stayed at my place. We were all hanging out, and when Pete left the room, his friend told me that he has a serious girlfriend. I confronted Pete, and he admitted it. It didn't stop him from kissing me. He and his friend slept on the floor of my living room, and when I came down the next morning they were gone. I just took it for what it was worth and figured I'd never see them again, even though I really hoped he would call me. I have been dating a lot of guys, and almost every time, I'm ambivelent about them calling me. Well, he called me that night to thank me for such a good time. Anyway, we've talked on the phone and text-messaged a couple times over the past couple days. I know it's wrong, but I want to see him again. And I know if I were to start seeing him, it would all be doomed. I just can't get him out of my head! What's wrong with me...and more important, what's his problem?!

There's nothing technically "wrong" with him...he wants what he wants and he seeks what he wants from people that will give him what he wants.
It's that you, if you do - not saying you do, think that his calling you, agreeing to hang out and hook up - would be dating, or have him leaving his girlfriend.
You'd be the "extra sex" he wants, the adoration without obligation he desires -buthe wouldn't be someone that he bothers to get to know on a personal level. He doesn't want commitment, communication, obligation nd requirement to two women...he has that iwth one woman and he doesn't live up to it by the conventional standard. He just wants "action" - fun, sex, companionship - on his terms - with you - if you're willing.
I'm williing to bet that his disclosure of the girlfriend, you being willing to kiss anyway - said to him 'I'm willing to be utilized as a sex object if you want more sex" - so if he calls back -t hat is all he's wanting. He knows that you know he can't date you publicly, contact you frequently, or emotionally involve himself in you -he can just "have sex whenever the opportunity presents itself." You know it - he knows it - so if he contacts you again it's just "opportunity to get laid" knocking or ringing.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
If you allow this guy to come over and call you and text you, you are just telling him that you are available to be used and walked all over. If you seriously value YOURSELF you'll quit taking his calls, and delete the texts when you get them. You deserve a guy who ONLY wants you. You deserve a guy who won't cheat on you or his gf. You're only stuck on this guy because he's giving you attention. You may not have had any attention from a guy for a while, so in your head some is better than none. But you will be hurt more by allowing this to continue.
Don't settle for second best.