why cant i relax & just trust him?
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| Mon, 11-26-2007 - 6:06am |
hi my favorite board. here i am, back for your precious advice...
over a month ago i met on a dating site a great guy- sweet, funny, smart, cool, relaxed, genuinly interested in me. he is 35, been a year since he broke up after 4yrs relationship. the reason was that they finally moved in together and saw how different they are..
it took me a month though to finally accept a date - only when i saw that he stays always in touch, that he really wants to get to know me, etc, etc. i said "why not?". we met and in person i totally liked him - besides his personality that i already thought was great, i loved his appearance (didnt like him on a picture before). we had 3 dates in 2 weeks. each time i liked him more and more. wa talked, shared our views, experiences, knowledge - i gave him a drawing lesson while he explained me the basics of photographie....
last week he was on a business trip so we didnt meet. and in a week he is leaving with his friend for a month long vacation...
and i stress now...so silly. i stress that he doesnt call me or write me daily since a week. coz its been 3 days since we last talked. coz in a week he will be gone without any (?)

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"its a bit natural to want to see him, be excited, expect phonecalls, attention. reminds me the schooltimes :) i am not someone who easy falls for someone but when i fall i fall hard. which is no good i agree. i expect right away lots of attention and want things go fast. i get disappointed when i do not see it from the guy's side. "
There's nothing wrong with how you feel or what you want from a man...it is normal and human-like.
I hope you dont mind me jumping in for a moment.
He was so into me and now i sit and wonder why for a whole week he has never initiated a talk or written me. And i still wonder if i should send him 'bon voyage" email before i leave work tonight. Should i??"
Well, you already emailed him and you are pleased with the results...so I guess it was a good idea.
I know how you feel about your feelings about him.
i truly appreciate your opinion and its always more than welcome, snafu
<> So true... I know that he wants to be with someone - he said it indirectly yet clearly when i just met him, that often he feels lonely (like he said jokingly that he hated me 4being away on new year's eve coz he will be back and will not know what to do as all his friends are doing things in couples.)
So if in January i will still wonder if he cares - then there is something in me that doesn't fit his 'ideal woman'. oh well then... will be frustrating but what can i do over it realistically? nothing... relationship is a choice of 2 people, we both must want it...
as for dating others. i understand your point. for me its fine to see other guys as long as its 'no touch, we r just having a drink or seeing a movie together' rule is on. i have girlfriends who dated simultaneously several guys until they chose 'the one'. i would love to be able to do it but..i can't...even if i have big doubts about the guy i like..
so i keep hanging out with guyfriends and even with guys who flirt like mad with me but as long as they accept my rules of the game - i'm not in a rush. and, sadly, i keep comparing them to that guy and i feel that although they are fun and nice people, they are not as mature, easygoing and i do not feel the same way when i'm with them....
dont know - complicated a bit i find...
hello. just a quick update on this story:
we both came back from vacation. he was more and more distant during these months and i just realised (from his words said indirectly) that he is dating another girl. oh well. another chapter closed. a bit unpleasant like a situation - i really fell for this guy. i made it clear that i'm not going to continue talking to him. whats a point? i dont need another friend.
trying to shake off the 'yet again' disappointment and "why"s in my head. they say it takes enourmous courage to admit that the person you liked is just 'not into u' and to forget him soon after. need to learn to do that
i'm not going to cry over this. have my salsa class in an hour. then lots to do during the day. just need to get it off my chest. pfffff
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