Why can't men committ

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Why can't men committ
2
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 3:05pm
Previously, I posted here about a guy I was dating, who wanted me to give him my hard-earned money for his lunch, bills, etc. Thanks for your comments, I stopped seeeing him.

My current problem is: The guys I date want SEX, but overtime, I may suggest that we commit to only see each other, etc. They go ballistic. The guy I'm seeing now said he doesn't have time for that S&it.

He said that's the problem with the women he dates they always want more and he just can't deal with it.

He made me feel guilty for wanting a special relationship. But he tried to make me feel better by saying at any given time he has at least 6 women, he could go to for sex, if he wanted it. But instead, I'm the lucky one that gets all his sex. the other women want it but I'm the only one getting it. Lucky me.

He told me that these women are his friends He tries to keep in touch with people he use to have sex with.

These are the type of guys I meet. Recently, a married man asked to date me secretly. He's suppose to be so unhappy at home, and planning to leave his wife.

Whenever, I bring up the fact he's married, he says it's not important because his marriage is over, but he's still living with her, sleeping next to her every night.

He had the nerve to say he wouldn't be able to handle it if i dated someone. I must be committed to him a married man.

HOW COULD A PERSON WANT TO BE INTIMATE WITH SOMEONE FOR MONTHS OR YEARS AND NOT WANT TO COMMITT TO THE PERSON? HOW?

I'm taking a break from men? I may become a lesbian. NA!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 3:25pm
I have an idea you might want to try. Don't have sex with anyone you date UNTIL they express a desire (in words AND deeds) to be in a committed, monogamous and exclusive relationship with you. That way you won't fall prey to the sex-only situations you keep finding yourself in.

Hopefully you're not even giving the married man the time of day, let alone entertaining thoughts of taking him up on his propositions of infidelity. If you're travelling down roads like that, don't expect to find yourself in a committed, monogamous, exclusive relationship anytime soon. Remember, you only end up with exactly what you accept for yourself. Don't accept chopped liver and expect it to magically turn into prime rib.

Best wishes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 3:40pm


I am just suggesting to you to stop concentrating on all these dumb men and just worry about yourself. We all meet losers. But as soon as you hear the word married or I want to have sex with all kinds of other people run!!! That guy tells you that you are the lucky one you really belive that, he probably tells the other girls that too. Rember we choose them not the other way around. Never settle for less. If someone makes you feel like crap they are not worth it. Dating is hard and it is hard to find honest people but just keep looking when it is meant to happen it will.

Missy