Why did he call?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Why did he call?
4
Fri, 04-16-2004 - 9:48pm
A little over one month ago I met a man on line. He initiated contact and we had some very nice emails. I suggested that we meet for lunch. We did and had a great time.

During lunch he asked for and keyed my home and cell numbers into his cell. That afternoon we became very intimate...no actual sex, but very passionate. He called , when he said he would, to set up our next date. Again, it was a great date. We talked enthusiasticaly about all kinds of subjects. We made each other laugh. I felt we had really connected. And, it wasn't just stars in my eyes, I felt he really did too. His eyes sparkled when we talked. His smile seemd so genuine.

After dinner we went to his house and attempted to have sex. He couldn't maintain an erection. I didn't make a big deal out of it and we continued to cuddle and "play". We talked for almost an hour or more. I had to go home to relieve the baby sitter. When I left I told him how much I enjoyed myself because I really did. I had developed,in a very short time, some deep feelings for him. I am 48 and had never fallen so quickly for someone.

This was a Monday. He said he would call on Thursday or Friday. Well, those days came and went...no call. A week passed and no call. So I called him. I got his voice mail and said, " Just calling to say hi and see how you're doing. Give me a call. I'd like to get together soon." I left my number...just in case. That was one month ago. I got over it and had pretty much written him off, but couldn't help but wonder, occassionaly, what happened.

He called me today. He said he didn't forget about me and wanted see how I was doing.He said he's been busy traveling with work. I was polite. We exchanged stories on what we had been up to. He then told me he's seeing someone now. So I thanked him for calling and wished him luck. So he said "Don't be a stranger. Call me, even if you just want to talk."

My question is... what just happened? What was the purpose of the call? I don't get it. Why didn't he just let sleeping dogs lie?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: luv2004
Sat, 04-17-2004 - 2:08am
the purpose of the call was to tell you he's seeing someone else but to also keep you on the back burner "just in case" it doesn't work out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
In reply to: luv2004
Sat, 04-17-2004 - 2:30am
I agree with the back-burner notion. He called to see if you were still available, in case things don't work out with whoever he is seeing.

Also, he might have been VERY embarrassed about that first sexual encounter. He waited until a little time had passed, when he felt better, and then he called because he wanted you to know (or think) that he is capable of having a functional relationship. Kind of "nonny-nonny-na-na, I can do it!"

Those are the only reasons I can think of him to call you... childish, huh? Forget about him...you can DEFINITELY do better!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2004
In reply to: luv2004
Sat, 04-17-2004 - 10:00am
I like that honest way. At least, he did not want to give a silence. Though it hurts but you know and ready to move on. Only one date it won't hurt you much. You're lucky he's an honest person to tell you. I guess you would feel worse if he does not tell you why he disappeared.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
In reply to: luv2004
Sat, 04-17-2004 - 10:42am
I am surprised he called after a month - that is not usual. He may have felt bad for giving you the brush off. Most guys just don't have the guts to call and be honest at all. I much prefer if they are honest as soon as possible to spare me from the hurt - but after a month, that's almost lame!! i wish you good luck in finding someone new.