Why do guys do the silent treatment???

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Why do guys do the silent treatment???
1
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 10:22pm
This is similar to the other questions about men and the silent treatment, but in this situation, I was not so involved with the guy. We had met online and had some great conversations and phone calls. Then all of a sudden, the day after one of the great phone calls, he just didn't answer my email. Then another unanswered email and an unanswered call. Then the way he tells me he no longer wants to communicate is by closing our match through the site on which we met saying he was "pursuing another relationship". This was after he asked me on our last call, when we were going to talk again and since I was going out of town, if we would be able to talk by email - he seemed VERY interested in talking again. So I have a really hard time believing that this "new relationship" popped up so quickly. We'd talked only a week before.

Why can't the guy just get some cajones and just either a) if he's not interested after talking just say, "nice talking to you, bye." or b) if he decides later he's not interested send a quick email or phone call saying, "I think it would be better if we didn't talk anymore."???? I as well as most women I know just want the closure of being told one way or another. The silent treatment is cruel and frustrating and makes women crazy! Is that why? When the women get frustrated and call the guy, it gives them an excuse - "Oh, she's the crazy, co-dependent nut-job so I was SO right for shutting that down." kind of thing? So just a note to men, please just get the guts to tell the woman straightforward that you don't want to see her. It will give her the closure she needs, you the space YOU need (most women don't want to look like a needy person calling after you have told her to hit the road) and everyone is happy!

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 12:19am
The guy just dumped you and doesn't want to talk to you anymore, that's all.

And he doesn't care enough, is too impolite, or too much of a moron to do it correctly. So, as it turns out, you wouldn't have wanted him anyway. Be happy he's gone.

Tom