why do i act this way?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
why do i act this way?
9
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 2:19pm
There is this guy that I like…a lot. In fact, I’m starting to think that it’s more that just like. The problem is that he and I have always had the kind of relationship where we tease eachother jokingly and whatnot. Well, I guess it’s starting to wear thin for him and he wonders why I act one way in public and completely different when we are alone together. I especially act this way when I’m in the company of one of my girlfriends. She and I always act really silly and hyper when we’re together, and I think it really annoys him. I don’t want to annoy him, but for some reason, when my friend and I are together, I can’t seem to keep from acting that way. I keep telling him I’ll stop treating him one way in private and another in public, but the truth is, I’m really not sure how. I’m worried he’s going to start hating me. I don’t want to act this way, and to be honest, if I were him, I’d be totally annoyed with me too, the way I act when I’m with my friend. For some reason, she brings it out in me, and I don’t know how to stop it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2006
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 3:46pm
If the guy can't accept you FULLY for who you are then your wasting your time on him. I'm sure that he does not act the same way when he is with his friends and when he is alone with you. No one does. He should respect that side of you and accept it. If he still has a problem with it and you want to remain together, just don't see your friend at the same time as your guy. And remember that you should remain yourself and not have to change to be loved.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2005
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 3:57pm

Just be yourself if it annoys him then isn't the person for you. Never act like someone you aren't to impress someone.

F

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 6:56am
the problem is that i AM acting like someone i'm not already! i put on this confident act, which just ends up coming out as obnoxious, and i dont want to do that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 11:43am

lindsay_loo...

PG is slightly confused here....

If you already know that your confidant behavior is OBNOXIOUS----what's the point of continuing with it?

Is your personality so repulsive that your male and female friends avoid you like the plague? Why not save all of your extemperaneous emotions for the "acting" you hope to be doing someday?

And during the rest of the time...consider the possibility of being a 'kindler, gentler, woman?'

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 12:31pm

Well, the only thing you can really do if this "isn't" you is just not hang out with your friend that gets you silly at the same time you hang out with your boyfriend.


Is it that you feel like you're being obnoxious in a bad way?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2005
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 3:14pm

"If the guy can't accept you FULLY for who you are then your wasting your time on him."

Oh please, grow up and try to give real advice. This guy doesn't like the fact that she seems to have two personalities. He is accepting her for who she is - when she acts like a normal person in private. I cannot believe how women will try and justify their actions and expect men to always accept them. Get real......

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 4:17pm
i think that's what i'll do. i definitely have fun when i'm with my friend. i think it's just our over-exuberent silliness that gets to people. but how do i undo the damage i've already done with this guy?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 8:05pm

When posting, please refrain from attacking others. Telling others that their advice is not real or helpful is not constructive. If you have an opinion, please state it but do not attack others' advice.


I appreciate your cooperation with this.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 04-06-2006 - 1:49pm

Is this something you can talk about with your girlfriend too- to help the two of you actless hyper and silly around each other, especially when around this guy? IT sounds like you're not crazy about this type of behavoir, perhaps your friend would also like to act less manic when together. It's also possible she sees nothing wrong with this type of behavoir, so take that into consideration before bringing itup to her. By the way, I am not advocating changing your behavoir to suit a guy but itsounds like you're not crazy abou t the side your friend

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