Why do men spend months in the cave?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2004
Why do men spend months in the cave?
9
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 11:33am
Why do guys suddenly cut you off after dating you and resume no contact? This after they've told you things like>>>

1. My friend said I need to put a ring on your finger...

2. I want to be with you...

3. I've been liking you for years..

4. I want you to be my lady...

5. What are you doing for V-Day? (then nothing)

6. I truly enjoy spending time with you..

7. How can I make you mine?

8. I missed seeing and talking to you..

Then after all this, after never pursuing them heavy or anything,..they back off. Even after you never chased them or anything. They did all the pursuing.

***I have come to the conclusion that guys are weird :-/

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 11:46am
I'm assuming these are guys you have not dated for long or at all. I think that most of the time when a guy says something like that and then disappears, it's b/c he isn't that into you, he's met someone else, or he has issues of his own to deal with. Please don't say men are weird! Some men are, but some women are too. Generalizing like that does no good. If a guy disappears, move on and find someone who is a better fit. Good luck.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 12:18pm
Because you're looking too much at the lips - what they say - as opposed to the feet - what they do. guys aren't weird at all - if they are sincerely interested in you their actions will match their words and if they stop calling has nothing to do with caves - just has to do with fading interest. if a person needs space and that involves the person they are dating not seeing them for awhile - that person if he/she is interested in the other person says something like "I need some time on my own - we're doing fine - and I'll call you tomorrow/in a few days, etc" - they make sure that their need for space does not throw you off as far as the relationship because they do not want to scare you off.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Sat, 03-20-2004 - 12:28pm
They like to make conquests. When they get what they want, the urge is to flee because they're afraid of getting trapped. It's not that they're necessarily liars -- they may actually feel the things they say at the time they say them. They know those things are part of the conquest. Tell people what they want to hear. Politicians do it, salesmaen do it, guys do it. But when guys make the conquest, suddenly all those feelings evaporate. It's not weird, it's human male nature. The "conquet" may range from sleeping with you, to getting you to fall in love with, or just getting you to express a little interest at the other extreme. The bigger the conquest, the greater the chance he'll get scared and split.


Some guys don't do things this way because they've learned to tame their baser nature or because they're mousy or maybe just naturally noble. (The last category rare.)

Avatar for growl1971
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 12:46pm
i'm a man, and i find your little rant to be hysterical, and at the same time bitter.

if you feel this way about men, why not turn into a lesbian and forget about us evil creatures?

give me a break, yeah, you women are all saints. please.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 2:31pm
Behave now, let her rant and rave! She will get the message sooner or later!
Avatar for bratgirl2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 2:38pm
Did all this come from the same guy?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 2:41pm

I thought Truelove WAS a guy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 03-22-2004 - 2:41pm
I'm interested to know what was so hysterical about her post? To me she was simply saying she didn't understand why guys say one thing and do another? I didn't think any implication was made about the saintliness of women...and while some men may have been offended by the "guys are weird" comment, all in all I didn't think she "male-bashed" a whole lot.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2004
Tue, 03-23-2004 - 10:04am
Hah! Yes, I am a male, heteroxexual, not even a transvestite, so not much chance I'll be turning into a lesbian or would-be lesbian any time soon.

My little "rant" about men is just my interpretation of what makes the cave man tick. It may be a little over the top, but I don't think it's all that far off about *some* of what drives men's behavior. I don't regard is as anti-male. If you think so, you ought to hear me on a really bad day about what I think makes women tick.