Why does his words not match his actions

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2004
Why does his words not match his actions
4
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 2:12pm
I have written before and moving on past what I was seeking advice for but I do have another question:

It has been done with someone for a couple months now, we needed time from the other and I called it quits because every tine something happened he would say it was over (he ended it like 10 times in three years and I was dumb to keep going back). Anyway, when it ended he would say he wanted ne back, etc but would never answer questions I had for him, wouldnt respond to my text messages but yet I always answered his questions, he would wait to get back to me on things and then when I would ask if he was seeing anyone just for conversation insted of saying yes or no he would say I was scrweing around. he would act in ways that made me feel i had to leave him. He would say one thing but his actions did not match up. Well, last weekend he writes this email about how he misses us, he willalweays think of me, he has this heavy heart cuz eh always thought we would marry, he says he is not seeing anyone, I have his heart still and it is a mistake we are not together, etc BUT when I call back cuz he wanted to know I got the messag eat elast and I responded nicely to his message he doesnt call back util days later. Why the hell would he write this? is he just having a "moment" he says he thought I was the one but yet didnt or couldnt call back or says I am the one but yet I will think of you always even though I will be with someone else someday well if that si the case why let me go and accept he would eb with someone else someday. he says this is all me I dont care naymore when I said we needed time we fought all the time, he accused me of things, would just be mean and now I dont talk to him whern he wants to talk but yet he never called to say lest talk, he would ignore my messages, I would get hurt and cry about the situtaion and he hung up on me once, doesnt add up so why email and say things??? I dont get it. It is liek he wats em to still loe him and want to be with him but doesnt put the actions into it or effort. Why?? Why contact me???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 3:49pm
daniella...

This is an easy one....

He calls you because he knows YOU'LL REACT and ANSWER HIM BACK!

Don't give him the satisfaction...IGNORE HIM and MOVE ON! You've wasted too much time already with this jerk!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2004
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 8:17pm
Thanks Pianoguy and yes he knows I would react and respond but why??? Why say awesome things but then disappear when I reply back or why ignore me beore but then every now and then come out of the woodwork and say how I "a the one" and he is hurting, blah, blah, blah?? Why?? What did he hope to ccomplish?? Does anyone know why someone would do that or want that or wanta reaction?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Mon, 07-19-2004 - 10:58am
To me he sounds like he just likes the attention of you calling after he leaves these messages.. he's obviously just playing mind games and wouldn't do that if he thought anything of you.. if i've learnt anything there is no point in asking WHY someone does something like that because to me there is no real explaination for it.. he's just being an idiot and taking you for a ride!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2004
Fri, 07-23-2004 - 10:13am
What I can't understand is it exetnds to my sister too. he will tell her that he still loves me, he thinks of me, he will not feel the same but then when it comes to em he avoids me. he tells her but not me, he wants me to think I am some bad person but to my sister he says I am not. He says he wont be the same but then to me he would not return a call for awhile and acts like he is moving on. It is like he wants everyone to think everything is my fault and he would eb with me if it wasnt for me but then before when i would think he thought he had a chnace he was no where to be seen. Is he seeing someone, has he lost it for me but then why say htese other things and this it to her so he knows he cant get a reaction from me. he knows my sister wont tell me what he says, I know this because I saw an email in her inbox from him and asked her if I could read it.