Why does no one want me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2004
Why does no one want me?
4
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 10:10pm
I'm a 21 year old model, actress and singer who has been single for almost 3 years now. People think I'm exaggerating, but no one has even been interested in me (other than for sexual purposes) for at least 4 years. Friends, family, even exs, tell me that I'm a good person and a great girlfriend. But no one wants to date me. Someone please tell me what could be wrong? My faith is wearing thin.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Wed, 03-15-2006 - 11:05pm

It seems to me that about a third of the straight male popluation may be intimidated by you. Men hate rejection more than we do. The other third is probalby taken and the remaining third? Ours for the taking.

Now it all depends on how we behave while we date this remaining third of the male population. If we view these guys as the last men on earth while we date them, they will pick up on that and run so fast, they'll leave skid marks. The ways we can appear to be too clingy, are the following faux pas...

* Calling too excessively. Many eligible women make 3 phone calls to the guys one phone call. If he doesn't have to lift a finger, he will soon take us for granted and value us too little.

* Sex too soon. The thrill of the chase is gone. Many guys disappear after the "big night". Many girls remember a special encounter and wonder why the guy went awol after such a special night.

* Making dating too easy for them. Again, they take you for granted. If you are paying for dates, inviting him over and doing most of the date planning, you are making things too easy for him, and he will take you for granted.

* Dropping everything for him when he calls. Again, if he thinks you have no life, he will value you less. Say no to him every once in awhile. Even if it is to catch a chick flick with the girls.

* That 2:00 am booty call. Even if you did go out and had a splendid time with your friends and he went to a seedy bar with the guys, if he calls you at 2:00 am, and you pick up the phone and let him come over, you will definately become a doormat! And a guy never respects a doormat!

You may not be doing any of these things I mentioned above, but it is better to put a very high price on yourself, than to become a guy's doormat. If a guy really likes you, he will travel to the ends of the earth for you!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 9:43am
Heck, I want you!.... but I'm WAAAAAY too old! Anyway, the only reason I can think of that you don't have a boyfriend or guys chasing you is that they're intimidated or think you already have a boyfriend. In that case, if and when you see or meet a guy you like, just walk over and say "Hi." After he recovers from the shock of having a cute girl approach him , you can have a conversation in which you tell him you're single.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Thu, 03-16-2006 - 11:06am

You sound exactly like a friend of mine (actress, model, singer), she's absolutely beautiful on the outside and on the inside.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-18-2006 - 8:13am

Hi shannon_a_s...

Due to the fact that the previous responses were soooo good...and very honest (in the case of the newyorker), Pianoguy was tempted to just pass when it came to a response. Then after a little thought (interspersed with some soft John Williams movie music)...he came up with the following:

If you've been without a boyfriend for 3 years...it's entirely possible that most of the men you've encountered assume that your devotion to your career EXCEEDS your social life? True...many of us can become a little intimated when it comes to your beauty or a possible age difference...but most 21-year old women who are just getting their careers off the ground...often have very little time left for any man who might express the slightest interest in them?

Why not ask yourself....given the amount of time you need to devote to your profession..."how much time can I actually spend with somebody who likes me?" While I'm sure you're wondering if most of the men you've dated are only interested in you for one thing only......you might be surprised to learn that many of us wouldn't mind having 'just a very good friendship with you' either? Whether this friendship goes to the next level or not...depends upon the time you're willing to invest in order to make it grow?

Best wishes, warm thoughts, and good luck with your career.

Pianoguy