Why doesn't he call?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Why doesn't he call?
14
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 10:52am
I've been seeing a guy for 2 months. We

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 12:22pm
It's only been two days. Not calling for two days is quite normal for some guys. You're seeing each other Thursday, so if you don't hear from him by tomorrow afternoon, call him and say "what's up? I wanted to know if we're still on for tomorrow night."

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 8:01am

imadreamer2003...

PG got a strange vibe from your sentence: "WE BOTH COMMITTED TO ONLY BE INTIMATE WITH EACH OTHER!"

Doesn't that give you the slightest clue about the relationship the 2 of you have?

Just for the heck of it...why not ask this man if he's married or is currently separated? Or at least ask if there are one or two other women in his life?

You may (or may not) get an honest answer, but I'll BET you'll get 5-15 seconds of silence before he offers a response?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 7:31pm
I asked and he said his last relationship ended a month ago and he has been divorced for 5
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 7:37pm

I can't answer for PG as to what he meant, but to me, it seems a little weird not to commit to not DATING other people (in addition to not having sex with other people). Dating exclusively seems like the normal dating progression to me (as opposed to only agreeing not to sleep with other people, which seems like more of a booty call/friends with benefits type of commitment).

In any event, has he called yet?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 7:47pm

He said that he cannot commit to a full time committed relationship right now. He said he likes me and we have chemistry and he is not going to ruin that by sleeping with someone else. He said this could lead to a committed relationship but

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 8:01pm

Ah, ok.

If you want a committed relationship, then continuing to see this guy would not be smart. Are you ok with what he's offering? (I think the "maybe in the future" line is bs, btw...he knows he doesn't want a committed relationship but is afraid that if he says that without giving you that line, you'll cut him off.)

He's most likely backing off (especially over the holiday) to remind you that this isn't likely to go anywhere...calling each other on Christmas would be a "bf/gf" thing to do and that's not what you guys have.

And if you're "over" texting ;-), then don't do it...I would respond with something like, "please give me a call when you have a minute".

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 12-28-2005 - 9:59pm

I agree with Sheri, this guy doesn't want a commitment and is afraid to tell you the truth because he fears that you'll end it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 6:38am

imadreamer....

Pianoguy doesn't want to put down any authors who write books about relationships (or any other subjects), but there's no such thing as a ONE SIZE FITS ALL MALE (or female for that matter)! So basing your reactions according to any book AREN'T GONNA BE 100% ACCURATE!

I'm getting an image of Teri Garr and Dustin Hoffman from the movie: TOOTSIE. They've just made it together in bed and her comment afterwards is: "Sex changes everything!"

Guess what? SHE'S RIGHT!

While your b/f might swear up and down that he doesn't wish to sleep with another woman (aside from you)....don't you think it's a better idea to let him know that your fascinating qualities and attributes GO BEYOND THE BEDROOM? It's nice to think that you'll be together in an "uncontrollable, everlasting, passionate embrace!"

However...every now and then....all of us have to take a shower and get dressed!!!

One of the reasons men stay with women is the "mystery" element! Just when we thought we knew EVERYTHING about you...you throw us an unexpected curve ball! In other words, we're often surprised by an action you take or a remark that you make!

And this is one of the reasons why MOST OF US want to "stay faithful and not stray!"

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Thu, 12-29-2005 - 9:24am

We have both said that

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2006
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 8:25pm

Well this guy and I spent 3 great days/nights together including new year's eve. Then on new year's day he tells me he is concerned about how I am making more out of us than we agreed to. He said to remember what he said about not being in a committed relationship. He said he wanted me to go out with other guys and he wants to

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